


Another Time

by vamptramp0348



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Coming Out, Drug Use, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Secrets, Sexual Tension, Shame, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-03-21 07:58:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 37,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13736562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vamptramp0348/pseuds/vamptramp0348
Summary: If James McGraw had met Thomas Hamilton in the modern day





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm really not so great at summaries but this work was born from the minds of two awesome chicks I met on Facebook in a Toby Stephens group, they commented the rough sketch of a story and I asked to bring it to life. I'll admit I'm nervous about sharing this with everyone because some fandoms are fierce but it's simple you like please comment and kudos if you don't just pass it up. James is a top publicist who gets Thomas as a client and he is a wild party boy whose father (yes that asshole made it in this universe as well lol) believes he's into things of the forbidden nature and wants James to spy on him, Miranda is an model turned actress who James represents and is secretly dating. So hope you give this chance and keep an open mind. Thanks xx

He'd had a bad day and just needed something to make him feel better, take the edge off. Third drawer on the right contained the only medicine James McGraw ever needed, a small flask of whiskey. It usually never took much but with the way his day had began he'd be lucky if two swigs got it. "Aaagh. That's what daddy needed" he said sealing the flask back up and hid it back in the false bottom of the drawer.

　

Every successful person had their secrets and skeletons James was no exception. As a high profile publicist it was his job to keep celebrities and socialites' images intact while doing damage control for every little hiccup and screw up imaginable, it was a tedious job but one that he excelled at. He had revamped and revived the careers and images of tons of British actors, musicians, writers, models and even minor royalty; it was a bit humorous to him he was paid to fix their shit while his was neatly stashed and hidden away but that's what made him so great. James was able to hide in plain sight and he could put a positive spin on anything but sometimes it was tiring.

　

Twenty years doing the same job made him long for a normal life far away from bustling London but who was he kidding? He wasn't born into money and with his vices not to mention having a high maintenance girlfriend he could never just disappear or retire. This was his life and now that he had his moment of solitude it was time to get back to it and find out who his latest disaster would be his new client.

　

"Teresa get me the files on the new client. I want it all social media, tabloids, the works" he buzzed his assistant.

　

"Right away Mr. McGraw" she came inside and presented him with a tablet "His name is Lord Thomas Hamilton. His father is the Earl Alfred Hamilton..."

　

"Old money and he's a posh socialite I see. Oh and judging by his throng of lady loves he's a modern day Lethario. What the fuck is this? A new girlfriend every week? I see he spends time spilling out of nightclubs frequently...basically what the hell am I to do with him? He's a bloody hot mess" James couldn't look over another photo he shut the tablet and slid it back across the desk to Teresa.

　

"His father is concerned that his son is into things he shouldn't be and is concerned over the family name and image"

　

James let out a loud gufaw "As well he should be. I'm not a private detective I will not get close so I can snoop. He can hire someone for that. Pass" he dismissed her but she would not leave.

　

"Edward is personal friends with the earl and he insists you make this priority"

　

If it was one thing James despised it was favoritism and how his superior Edward Saxton believed it was right to push his snobbish friends off on him that they somehow needed him more than others. "You tell that sonofabitch..."

　

"Tell me what? That you're excited to meet your new client?" speak of the devil, oh how James wished he could reach for his flask there'd be nothing left.

　

"The son doesn't even know I'm being brought on board and what am I to do for him? I'm not spying for a stuffy..."

　

"James McGraw choose your words carefully. Alfred Hamilton is one of my dearest friends and his son just needs a little nudge in the right direction. If anyone can give him a complete 360 it's you. You are the best I have James, please don't make me grovel"

　

James smirked "I would like to see you on your knees Edward but since you've gone an puffed up my ego I suppose I will meet with this Thomas Hamilton"

　

Edward pumped his fist in celebration "So what does his father believe he's into? A cult? Drugs? Undesirable associates?"

　

"Well you surely saw the women he chooses to bed and his boozy nights but just see what you can drum up. Then you and I will meet with Alfred and discuss tactic on handling his son. Your first meeting is tonight at Tramp be there by ten and make sure you get in there and introduce yourself" Edward gave James the thumbs up as he was heading out the door.

　

"I hate nightclubs" James muttered with a groan, there were too many people jammed into one space and the music was senseless noise. His phone came alive buzzing across the desk and the image of the person caught Teresa's attention James snagged it to himself and nodded for her to exit she quickly and disappointingly trotted out.

　

"Miranda my love what's going on?" he answered with his best resolve trying to stuff his frustrations.

　

Miranda Barlow a former model turned actress came to James's desk four years ago she had suffered a mental breakdown and turned to some regrettable things to help her cope with her falling star. James took her and transformed her into a mental health advocate that turned her entire career around and opened doors for her. They had went out to dinner a year ago as a way for her to thank him but she ended up taking him home and giving him a little more than just a thank you. Both insisted on keeping their relationship private.

　

"I blew the audition that I had been hoping for and preparing hard for" she sounded crushed and he knew that she had put everything she had into it.

　

"Do you want me to make a call? Get you a second chance?" he knew he was guilty of the very thing he hated but he did believe Miranda had talent and he ran lines with her for weeks preparing for the audition and given that it was a major part in a theatrical film it would have boosted her career and confidence, for that he would not be sorry for doing.

　

"It's too late they already cast the female lead. I just want a quiet night in with you, we could order Chinese and you could do that thing I've been asking you to do. That would make me feel better"

　

James scrunched his face up because he knew he was about to royally upset her "I'm sorry I can't tonight I have to meet with a new client but how about I blow work off tomorrow and take you shopping, to lunch then do that thing you want me to do"

　

He hated when Miranda left him hanging she was sulking but considering her options "Alright I suppose. I have to go I'm getting another call. I'll see you tomorrow, I love you"

　

"I love you too" it was fairly new for James saying those three words but they were beginning to sound more and more genuine.

　

After hanging up with Miranda, James took one more drink from his private reserve then headed out the door to prepare for the night's meeting with Thomas Hamilton.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The fluorescent lights and thumping house music was enough to make James regret agreeing to take Thomas Hamilton on as a client. He was dressed to the nines in jeans, a black t-shirt with a dress jacket with his dark red hair slicked back in a James Dean fashion but he still didn't feel confident, time to hit the bar. The bartender was too busy to notice James was in need of a drink and considering the girl sitting on the barstool to his immediate right had an annoyingly painful laugh with a high pitch he really wanted a damn drink. "Hey who do I have to fuck to get service around here?" he asked shouting over the music as the bartender came back his way.

　

"Sorry we're a man down tonight and I'm in charge of keeping Mr. Hamilton and his guests happy sorry mate but you picked the wrong night. But if you give me your order I'll get it when I can"

　

James shook his head and smacked the bar then went down to the section where the bartender was mainly staying. There he sat in all his glory, Thomas Hamilton one of England's most eligible bachelors. James smirked at the sight of him and his blonde hair and very conventionally handsome face an at how all the girls were swooning and swarming all over him hoping they'd be his nightly conquest and the next day praying they were either pregnant with his child or at least that he'd call again. From what James had heard in conversation about Thomas was he was a nice guy, very well educated and thoughtful but he just had a penchant for being the bad boy rebel and he certainly sowed his wild oats. "Hey are you the bloke taking up all the oxygen in this fucking club?" it wasn't James' best first line but it was Thomas's fault because he hadn't had a few drinks to mellow him out.

　

He flashed James his winning smile "I'm sorry mate do you want me to get you a drink? It'll be on me" Thomas offered.

　

"Sure I'll take a whiskey sour" James knew he should apologize for his brashness at first but he also knew he wouldn't. Thomas would have to be able to deal with the fact that sometimes James lacked social graces.

　

"Bartender, whiskey sour for my new friend here" Thomas nodded James's way then he turned his attention back to the girl in front of him who was pretending to hang on to his every word but really was just focused on his white shirt that was opened at the top revealing his strong chest.

　

The bartender held his drink up when it was finished he stepped over and accepted it "Thank you"

　

"Well look at that girls he has manners. You must be James McGraw the publicist my father has hired to babysit me and keep me out of trouble" Thomas said raising his drink to his lips with a wink.

　

James stopped in mid-drink and gave him an intriguing look "How did you guess that?"

　

"I was told to expect you by a friend of mine who is on the ups about what my father is doing"

　

"Well that saves me a great deal of time we should start..." James was shushed when Thomas put his hand on his shoulder and he leaned in close. His eyes were soft blue and they shined gorgeously in the light.

　

"No business talk tonight if you want to set up a meeting I'm free any day of the week but since you're already out and you have a drink what say you and I take these lovely ladies up to the VIP room and just relax as gents? I don't like things too formal so I hope that doesn't put starch in your knickers"

　

James didn't have a clever retort or much else to say he watched Thomas leading the ladies upstairs the whole time though he kept his eyes on him. If it weren't for his career he wouldn't have followed the lot of them into the VIP room or so he told himself but secretly there was intrigue. The music wasn't as boombastic in the private lounge so it was easier to settle into the sectional leather sofas "I'm a bit dry girls how about you mix me up something strong?" Thomas cooed at a petite blonde who didn't miss an opportunity to try and show him her tits.

　

"What about you? Ready for another?" he looked at James who nodded his head as he downed the rest of his drink quickly "Make that two" he gave her a small peck on her lips that sent her into a fit of giggling but made her very complicit.

　

Not knowing what to talk about if they weren't going to discuss business James just observed Thomas as he began telling the ladies a story he had them hooked onto his every word but strangely James found himself listening intently and when he laughed they all laughed with him even though James was certain not all of them understood what he said but it was strange he found himself smiling. "So James do tell me what is my father looking for?"

　

"Thought you didn't want to talk business?" he said accepting his drink from the blonde who went right back to Thomas's side.

　

"I don't but I think it's fair to know what I'm up against"

　

"I don't really think you're up against anything, your father is just concerned of how you're blowing his money and smearing his name through the muck. That and it's most likely a matter of you settling down and finally having children; you know growing up?" he swilled the drink around in the glass before he took a sip. Thomas didn't seem one ounce bothered by any of it he just began laughing much to James's annoyance.

　

"Me settling down? That's hilarious and a ridiculous notion my father has that a mature man has a wife and at least two children. What's next? I'll have to wear business suits and talk politics? It's my money not his my mother left it to me I no longer receive a stipend from him and considering I am launching several business ventures this year with a very good friend of mine whom himself is a successful businessman, I will have no problem keeping my hands out of my father's cookie jar"

　

"Then that's precisely the reason you need me. I'm not telling you not to be a playboy or drink yourself into a stupor on the weekends but I'm saying be more smart about it. You want these ventures to pan out and be lucrative? Then clean up your act and let me deal with the publicity and your image, I can tell you are a very bright man and not the prat everyone tries to make you out to be but you have this stubborn habit of wanting to prove everyone right about you. It's childish and trying to rebel against daddy is tiring you're a grown man now it's time to stop sticking it to the old man don't you think? Show him you are independent" it was risky to utter those words but James knew this would work best if he had Thomas's cooperation instead of him proving to be an obstacle.

　

Thomas sat in contemplation for a moment stroking his chin as he did but then he cocked his head to the side looking at James "You're hired"

　

James nearly choked on his drink he didn't expect that to be Thomas's response and when he extended his hand it confirmed what his ears had heard. They shook heartily "Now that all that's settled what say we enjoy the rest of this night?" Thomas raised his glass to James then began making out with two of the girls.

　

**

It was around four when Thomas decided he had enough to drink and lucky for him James was still conscious and was ready to take action "You're coming with me we're going out the back entrance" he instructed as Thomas wobbled behind him.

　

"Look at you taking charge already and haven't been working for me a whole day. I can tell what kind of bloke you are James..." Thomas wobbled with a smile he patted James shoulder.

　

They made their way out of the club and through the alley accompanied by Thomas's two nightly conquests who seemed a bit disappointed they weren't going to be photographed being seen with Thomas Hamilton. He led Thomas to his car "I can easily have my driver pick us up" he leaned against the driver's door.

　

"No such luck those paps will follow that car. I'll give you a lift home just don't throw up on my seats it's leather interior and no sex until you get him home" he warned them making Thomas grin sheepishly making James bubble with regret.

　

On the drive James's phone rang it was Miranda "Darling why are you awake at this time?" he asked trying to keep his eyes on the road but in the mirror he was distracted by Thomas and the two girls they had his shirt off and working steadily on his pants "Sorry mate they seem to be a bit hard to control"

　

James slammed on the brakes as Miranda went on talking he held the phone downward so she wouldn't hear him yelling right into her ear "OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT! Keep his damn pants on or you two can walk" they were frightened and pulled away from Thomas sitting in their own seats.

　

He exhaled then put the phone back to his ear "What **is** going on?" Miranda yelled "Nothing darling just dealing with the new client so you were saying?"

　

Thomas was growing increasingly fascinated with James he watched him from the backseat this was going to be an interesting relationship.

　

 


	3. Chapter 3

Thomas awoke to the burning pain in his stomach, he winced as he felt the acid from his stomach trying to come up in his throat. He went to sit up when he remembered he was pinned down by two lovely ladies on each side. One was named Tiffany and she was a law student from Boston in the United States but he couldn't remember which one she was or the other's name altogether. James was right something had to change, Thomas began to ponder if he remembered protection but when he glanced over to the bedside table on the right there was a broken condom wrapper he sighed relief and hit the pillow again.

　

He worked his arms away from the girls then maneuvered himself carefully over the blonde and strutted into his master bathroom completely nude to rummage through the medicine cabinet. Thomas stared at himself in the mirror, taking a long hard look as he swallowed down the anti-acid pill, this wasn't making him happy anymore. At first it was amusing to piss off his father but as time went on it became typical for him and he garnered himself a nickname Tossed Tommy to which he absolutely hated and saw to it to punch the tabloid writer who coined it at a bar one night when he yelled "Hey Tossed Tommy give us a headline!"

　

"Look at you, we can do better than this" he gave himself a pep talk then took a deep breath heading to turn the shower on. The hot water cascading over him was waking him up as he shampooed he thought about what James had told him the night before. Thomas had wanted to settle down and almost did twice but something always felt wrong. His first girlfriend Farrah was a girl he had known his entire life and they got on well, he was in his late teens and he had every intention of asking her to marry him but he chickened out and instead broke up with her. His father excused that one because "Be young while you can, marriage is a man's game not a boys" but after he hit his thirties and had his second serious relationship with a model named Veronica he was set to try again and make her a wife but when his father kept urging him to propose he decided it was time to stop living the life his father wanted him to live. He returned to his cad ways but there was a truth burning inside of Thomas that he had not been able to make peace with and yet knowing if he could only make peace with it then he could be able to stop being the playboy.

　

He heard the shower door pop open "Wow you look even more gorgeous wet" he washed the shampoo out of his eyes then turned to see the brunette stepping inside "Tiffany right?"

　

She giggled "No silly I'm Amber" it began coming back to him "Right the nursing student" she nodded in agreement and he gave a relieved look behind her back.

　

Amber reached for his loofah and body wash then began scrubbing it up and down his bare chest he wanted to get into but he had been just thinking of turning his life around he held her hands to stop her "I'm not trying to seem rude but I'd like to shower alone. You and Tiffany are more than welcome to help yourself to coffee and anything to eat in the kitchen. This is my private thinking time" he gave her a gentle smile as to disarm her from getting offended.

　

"Sure I understand. Maybe I can make us some omelets" she perked up and kissed his lips he just nodded with a smile then exhaled loudly after she left. The longer he held the secret in the longer he'd be doomed to repeat his mistakes.

　

**

Miranda was in particularly chatty mood while shopping and dining with James but he hadn't spoken much she must've been running out of things to say because she took notice "James you haven't said as much as two words to me all day. I'm feeling ignored" she pouted.

　

"I'm sorry I'm still hung over from last night I guess" he didn't dare tell her what actually happened, in fact he wouldn't tell anyone what happened it was sloppy and embarrassing; when he got Thomas home he made sure he got in okay but Thomas insisted that James help him upstairs, because apparently his two dates were much too trashed to do anything but make out with one another and undress themselves. But upon getting him into his room Thomas began stripping that was James's cue to leave but Thomas jerked him by his jacket "Stay lets have an orgy" he whispered pulling James face close to his. James tensed up and for some reason couldn't stop blinking, Thomas lips were very near his own and he could smell the alcohol on his breath and faint wafts of his body spray. Looking into his eyes there was a questioning gaze but he released James when the girls finally managed to come into the room James straightened himself out and left his business card on the nightstand. He didn't look back as he ran down the stairs and out the house slamming the front door behind him.

　

In the car he was driving like a maniac just trying to put distance between himself and what happened. He had to stop over at a late night store to get a bottle of malt liquor to which he drank openly in the store then when he started to calm down he headed home to shower and sober up enough to be present with Miranda.

　

"So who is your new client?" he could hear the tone she was taking she feared it was a female he had learned that models were among the most insecure creatures on the planet.

　

"Thomas Hamilton" her expression softened as she didn't feel threatened anymore "Well, you will certainly have your work cut out for you"

　

"I like a challenge. Enough work talk let me take you home baby and give you what you've been needing" he knew just what to say to make her smile.

　

They burst through her apartment door kissing, hands in tangled up in one another's hair and tearing into one another's clothes. "James! I love it when you get so aggressive!" she purred as he shoved her down onto the bed.

　

He grabbed Miranda by her bare legs and slid her ass down the bedspread to him spreading them and pressuring them to stay down. Miranda mewled under him panting "Please James eat me out" she begged.

　

James leaned over her and kissed her lips then trailed his way down her body, paying special attention to her breasts and nipples flicking his tongue all over them and taking them between his teeth making her push his shoulders so he would keep going downward. Once in the area she aimed to get him into she tried to get him by his hair to press his face into her dripping honey pot but jerked his head away quickly then slapped the inside of her thigh "Don't be a bad girl Miranda you know how rough I can get with you."

　

She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes massaging her breasts roughly. First he kissed the insides of her thighs, nipping at her delicate skin making her let out loud gasps then he kissed the entire length of her slit. James parted her delicate lips to reveal the pink insides he teased his tongue around her clitoral hood, he dragged his tongue down to her increasingly wet hole and dipped the tip into her juices then back up to her clit and began sucking it to make it swell and protrude out of it's hood. Miranda shivered as he began sucking on her clit "James..." she moaned rocking her hips back and forth, while she gripped the blanket on top of the bed.

　

James felt Miranda's hand comb into his hair as she pressed his face against her snatch. He moved his face side to side with her sensitive nub between his teeth making her shout "Fuck!" she screamed. He burrowed into her pussy even deeper as he began tongue fucking her, he was buried so deep his nose grinded against her clit. Miranda held his head as she jolted all around her spot on the bed fucking her pussy against his face until he felt her buttocks clench and vaginal walls contract and spasm. James didn't much like his hair being pulled but let Miranda have her way, he was after all there for her.

　

After she was satisfied they laid snuggled in the center of the bed "Thank you" she whispered tracing her finger through his chest hair.

　

"For what?"

　

"Doing that I know it probably doesn't do much for you. Would you like me to give you something in return?" she licked her tongue across her lips.

　

He went to answer her but his phone rang "Shit!" he cursed reaching across the bed to the nightstand to grab it "Hello?"

　

"James? Hello, it's Thomas Hamilton you left your business card on my bedside table. I'd like to meet if you're available"

　

James didn't respond right away he just laid there mulling it over "I can tell you're busy that's alright maybe we can get together..."

　

"I'll be there. Your place?"

　

"Yes, that would be fine."

　

He hung up and gave Miranda a quick kiss on her forehead "I have to meet with Thomas Hamilton but I'll call you tomorrow"

　

"What happened to blowing work off?"

　

James rolled his eyes to where she couldn't see him "I'm sorry but Hamilton's father is my boss's good friend I have to make him priority. Don't worry baby you are always more important, you know that don't you?" he turned and leaned across the bed to give her another kiss.

　

"Alright you did give me what I wanted. Just don't let that man turn you wild"

　

James had to laugh at the thought of Thomas Hamilton corrupting him it was more likely to be the other way around but Miranda wasn't any the wiser of James's other activities. He liked it better that way.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Thomas greeted James with a smile when opened the front door "So glad you could come by. Please come in" he moved aside so James could enter.

　

James's mind kept replaying the night before of helping him into the doorway and the looks Thomas kept giving him, he began to feel a trite uncomfortable but entered quickly "What is this is about? I actually blew work off today to spend it with my girlfriend so you didn't catch me at my office"

　

Thomas's eyes trailed away and his smile faded "I'm sorry to have pulled you away from your girlfriend" he nearly choked on the word James noticed. "But I and my business partner Peter Ashe are set to launch our first venture in a couple months it's a ride share app exclusively designed for women seeing as how Peter has a teenage daughter of his own what is a father's number one fear? Or even a woman who hails a cab or orders a ride from Uber or Lyft? Overly aggressive men who after dropping them off have their personal information and address what is to stop them from harassing these women?"

　

"Sounds to me you're inciting panic and sexism" James weighed in.

　

"Does your girlfriend use ride share apps?"

　

"Yes, she has before especially after a night out with her girlfriends"

　

"Alright then wouldn't you feel better if your lady love got home safely and with another female or gay male driver?"

　

"Women can be predators as well be they lesbian or bi-sexual you would have to have an intense screening process and hire exclusively"

　

Thomas's eyes lit up "But that is exactly what we have gone and done! We have hired the best psychologists and psychiatrists to do evaluations on those who apply for driver positions and we have a fleet of various vehicles offering something for everyone's budget and taste. The cars are stocked with things women may need or like to make their experience even better"

　

James nodded it was a good idea and he could get Miranda to help them sell it "I like it and I have just the woman to help you sell this to the masses. Miranda Barlow"

　

"The model turned actress who had a nervous breakdown a few years ago? Then got back on top when she spoke out about mental illness?" Thomas spoke with a bit of laughter in his voice making James narrow his eyes.

　

"I am the one who got her back on top and got her shit together. She pulls in at least 3 million a film and a cool million per television series role. It's absolutely perfect a woman who has been ravaged by mental illness speaking about how she feels safer caddying about London with your ride share service designed exclusively for women in mind. Open your mind Thomas"

　

The way James defended her Thomas couldn't tell if there was more to Miranda and James or he felt his work was being insulted "Alright get Peter and I meeting with her to see if she'll endorse. Do you have any other suggestions?"

　

"Well we definitely want to get this out there quickly because of this Times Up movement going on. I hate to be opportunistic about it but if we can get a big British female attached or even get Oprah over here to try it I can guarantee you this will take off very quickly. This Ashe fellow is a genius"

　

"Peter is a great business man as well he should be graduated top of his university class. Plus he is doing this for a great cause his daughter but also because his wife was strangled by a cab driver who was actually a convict released from prison who stole a cab in New York City, she was there visiting her sister and it was late. The man drove her to a back street and bludgeoned her first then strangled her until she died. It's going to be dedicated in her honor."

　

Thomas had a way of making James feel like a complete asshole for trying to work an angle and it didn't help his soft and sad blue eyes when he told the story made James just want to kick himself in the ass "I'm sorry but my job..."

　

"I know and I understand there is a movement gaining momentum in the world currently and we'd be fools not to get swept up in it along with the rest of the world but please when you meet Peter let me speak and represent your ideas. You handle the media and I'll handle my old friend"

　

He reminded James of what his father had hired him for "Since we're going to be a team I feel I should let you be made aware of exactly what your father is looking for"

　

"You mean besides the slightest whiff of impropriety? I know he believes I'm either doing drugs or plotting to have him assassinated. The old man is paranoid but are you going to be my double spy?"

　

James smirked he never was the Bond type "Look he told my boss he wants me to poke around see what I can dig up about what you're up to and we're going to take our findings to your father and we're supposed to talk about how to handle you"

　

"Handle me? Like I am some sort of invalid relative that spouts nonsense and practices self harm? Handle me!" James was stunned by Thomas's angry outburst.

　

"I'm sorry. My father and I have a complicated relationship. I'm not the son he hoped I would be" Thomas returned to calm taking a seat across from James on the sofa.

　

James knew all too well about disappointed fathers, his despised him "Fathers are assholes" he said sullenly.

　

"Yours too?"

　

"I was raised by my grandparents because my mother couldn't stand the idea of being stuck with me and my father for the rest of her life and then my father to deal with the anger of my mother abandoning us used to beat me. He used to get me down on the floor beating me with a belt calling me names. My grandfather put a stop to it and they adopted me"

　

"James, I'm sorry that sounds horrible and no human being should have to endure such horrendous behavior from a parent. My father was never physically abusive I mean I got my share of spankings but he never raised a fist to me or a belt. I was his golden boy until he realized he could not control me then I ceased being such a bundle of joy. I became a disappointment and he never hesitated to let me know. Listen to me whining I'm sorry" Thomas apologized again but they had a moment where they just looked at one another, staring directly into one another's eyes.

　

It was then James wanted to ask him about the previous night's events but he chalked it up to being drunk and in appreciation for him giving him a ride thought he'd like to join in on the fun so he decided to let it go even though there was a nagging feeling. If Thomas was never going to bring that night up than neither would he.

**

　

"Miranda Barlow this is Thomas Hamilton and Peter Ashe" James introduced her to them they shook her hand.

　

Miranda and Thomas were giving one another flirty eye contact initiated by Thomas "So now that you have seen the test version of the app what are your thoughts Miranda?" the way Thomas spoke her name made her blush and smile.

　

"Well, I think it is brilliant and given how many women out there are being sexually harassed and abused this a real game changer for them. Which one of you came up with the initial idea?" she played with her necklace that dangled into her bust while giving Thomas looks making him smile.

　

"I came up with it first and took it to Thomas here he is very good at finer details"

　

Both Miranda and Thomas snickered she cleared her throat when James and Peter looked confused "I'm sure he is. Well, I am on board with this I want very much to be apart of it. James what do you think?" she said turning her attention to where it truly belonged hoping like hell he wasn't aware of what had been taking place.

　

"I think we need to hit the ground running. But I have one minor change that will be a bit of a thorn in your side" James said addressing Thomas.

　

"What's that?"

　

"Right now your reputation is still nursing a big wound that French model Joelle well as it turns out she's big on the coke scene and I'm not talking about the soda. She was recently busted entering the United States with quite a few grams and all they can talk about now in addition is how you two had that two week fling..."

　

Thomas crossed his arms and scrunched his face "I don't like where you're going with this..."

　

"...it's just until it cools down..."

　

"...your job is to combat rubbish stories..."

　

"...Peter needs to be out front and you a silent partner for a little while" the room festered with tension as James and Thomas were in a stare down.

　

"You went on and on about rehabilitating my image and now you want me to hang in the background? On a venture I have been a big part of since day one!"

　

James sighed "Look right now you have the worst reputation as a womanizer! As to where your business partner has a teenager daughter whom he is trying to protect. Women don't view you in such a sweet light Thomas. I'm not going to sugar coat everything for you! And you don't need to be out front just yet not until I can wrangle some media outlets to do an exclusive interview with you that's how we're going to wash your image clean. Then when the time is right Peter will be able to announce his partnership with you then it all clicks. I'm on your side Thomas but you need to trust me!"

　

"He knows what he's doing Thomas, I know from firsthand experience. James is the best at what he does." Miranda vouched for him. Thomas looked at her then to James it was then he understood their relationship was a bit more personal and why he was so quick to defend her.

　

"Alright we'll do it your way. I'll stay out of trouble and out of the papers" Thomas said getting up and walking out.

　

James slouched back in his chair "Bloody stubborn that one is" he muttered reaching across the table for the glass bottle of bourbon and opened it up pouring it into his glass the knocked it back.

　

Miranda sighed she hated when James would get stressed out and drink "Excuse me where is the bathrooms?" she asked Peter he looked up from his phone and pointed "Down the hall at the opposite end on the right"

　

"Thank you" she dismissed herself James glared at her but shrugged it off he poured himself another drink.

　

As Miranda was coming to the bathrooms Thomas was coming out they tried to step but kept getting in one another's way they began laughing "It's like an awkward dance" Thomas chuckled.

　

"Yes, listen I know James is brash and very opinionated but he is really great at his job. You put your future in good hands"

　

He nodded, "Well, I'll remember your recommendation when I'm ready to strangle him. Listen if you're not doing anything tonight would you like to go out to dinner?"

　

Miranda began feeling nervous she didn't want to speak up about she and James because of their mutual agreement "Sure" she heard herself agree. "Excellent give me your number before you leave and I will call you so we can set it up" he smiled and walked back towards the meeting room.

　

In the bathroom Miranda washed her hands "It's just dinner and if you keep the conversation on business nothing can happen. You will tell James and it will be fine" she assured her reflection. She loved James and no man could not change that.

 


	5. Chapter 5

James staggered into his apartment locking the door behind him he crashed down onto the sofa he looked at his phone but he had no notifications. He had tried to call Miranda several times to apologize for his behavior at the meeting but every time it went straight to voicemail. He decided to turn his phone off and just go see her in the morning. Right now he was on edge and it was no longer about Thomas or their tete en tete, his anxiety was starting to get a strangle on his mind.

　

It was something he took away from his childhood, that was instilled every single time he heard his father begin yelling. He knew what was coming next and no matter where he hid his father always found him. Flashes of his childhood memories came flooding back "No, no, no!" he began to cry it was then James knew what he had to do. He shot up from the couch and headed into his bedroom and into the master closet. Behind a rack of his work clothing was a secret compartment in the wall he opened it up revealing a built in safe. James punched the four digit code and the door popped open he reached inside to pull out a small bag of cocaine with a small red straw inside with it. Staring down at it he tried to will the memories away and the anxiety at bay but they were getting louder driving him insane.

　

Back into the living room he dumped the cocaine onto the coffee table. He reached into his wallet and pulled out a credit card then began sorting it into two lines. When the cocaine was nice and sorted he dipped his head low inserting the straw into his nostril then inhaled it. He snorted for a few minutes after to get it good and up there then exhaled while pinching the top of his nose feeling the rush.

　

He waited a few minutes before finishing it he dropped the straw next to his card then leaned back into the sofa sniffing and snorting to push the drug through. James laid there as his thoughts began to change and his mood began to lift it would be another few minutes before he'd be up and rushing around doing things just to expend the extra energy. It was then he had a thought of surprising Miranda at home because definitely felt like fucking.

**

　

Thomas was a complete gentleman and walked Miranda upstairs to her apartment "This really wasn't necessary but it's nice that chivalry isn't dead"

　

"It certainly is not at least with me. I know I have a bad reputation with women but if you were to ask any of the girls I have been with they will tell you how much of a gentleman I am. I treat them with respect the night of and the morning after, some I'm still amazing friends with"

　

"Thomas you don't have to explain anything to me. I'm sure I do not have the greatest reputation myself. Especially if you talk to anyone I was seeing in my twenties"

　

Miranda laughed nervously Thomas stepped to her and stroked her dark locks away from her face "It doesn't matter that was who you used to be. I am more interested in who you are now"

　

Her heart began to race as he got even closer "I have to tell you something. I'm in a relationship"

　

Thomas didn't seem deterred "Well, then I won't spend the night" he bent forward to kiss her but she stopped him with her palms on his shoulder.

　

"I am not going to be another notch in your belt" she protested but he disarmed her by cupping her cheek until her hands dropped.

　

"Miranda you are a brilliant woman I confess I wasn't entirely sure about you when James brought you up but after spending the evening with you I can see what he means about you. And I have another confession I watched your made for television film 'The Governor's Daughter' at least fifty times" he blushed with embarrassment making her laugh.

　

"I'll confess I've never seen it. I worked on it but I have never watched it"

　

"You simply must see it you are amazing in it" he made her smile even wider. He resumed kissing her "I don't want to hurt my boyfriend" she tried weakly to stop him again but she was losing the battle.

　

"Then we simply won't mention it. We can be great friends Miranda and more if you'd like, I won't ever disrespect you or spread gossip about you but I would like the same regard"

　

"Thomas..." she lost her train of thought and just pulled him to her and they began kissing. Miranda ran her fingers through his blonde tresses trying to get her key from her purse but it seemed like Thomas was going to take her right there at the door. He moved his hands down her body to the hem of her dress then slid it up exposing her panties. Miranda in return began tearing into his pants, undoing his belt first then breaking the button on his pants making him smile "Been a while since a woman has done that to me" he whispered pressing his forehead against hers. They stared into one another's eyes as he jerked her panties down and she reached into his pants and began jerking his hardening member.

　

He backed her against the door then lifted her up she wrapped her arms around his torso "Don't be gentle I am no delicate little flower I won't break"

　

"You are fucking magnificent Miranda Barlow" he said pulling her hips down until her pussy began to envelope his cock. Miranda's mouth dropped open and she began to gasp as his thick meat filled her pussy. Thomas didn't waste time he began grinding his hips against hers driving his dick hard into her making her back slam against the door "Fuck!" she swore wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his.

　

They were so swept away by their passion they didn't hear the elevator ding or the doors open. At the end of the hall James stepped out of the elevator with a bouquet of wild flowers in his hand, Miranda's favorite only to see Thomas having his way with her against her apartment door. His teeth began to clench and his face became a boiling blood red he was going into a blind rage.

　

"YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!" he shouted letting out a growl then charging after Thomas. He let Miranda down in the knick of time as James plowed into him taking him down to the carpet "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" James screamed straddling him and punching him in the face. Thomas tried to stop him but James's rage was far more powerful but Thomas put hand over James's face and pushed him back.

　

"JAMES STOP IT!" Miranda screamed as she put her panties back on, Thomas gained ground and shoved James down he tried to get up when James charged him again Thomas swung his fist taking him back down again "THOMAS!" Miranda yelled at him. He didn't persist or try to fight with James instead he got up and zipped himself back up then held his hand out for James. James laid there in wild confusion with blood trickling down his nose "Fuck off" he slapped Thomas's hand away.

　

He got up on his own and cornered Miranda at her door with a look of hatred in his eyes "You mean nothing to me! Here these are for you" he threw the flowers into her arms and staggered back to the elevator "James!" Thomas called but he flipped him off without turning around and got into the elevator shutting the doors sneering at them both as the doors closed.

　

Miranda began sobbing Thomas tried to comfort her "Where does he live? I'll go an talk to him see if I can fix it"

　

She looked up at him strangely "Did you know that we were dating?"

　

Thomas looked away when answering "I did and I asked you out for that very reason..." he didn't get to say anything else her hand went across his cheek "...please give me his address I can make this right"

　

"If I were you I'd stay away from James until he has had time to sober up. He has a fiery temper and right now you crossed him leave him be and I will fix it myself. We are business partners Thomas Hamilton and nothing more so goodnight to you" she turned away unlocking the door but Thomas grabbed her arm and spun her back around.

　

"I'm sorry at first this was just to get under his skin until I got to know you a little better. But what we just did that wasn't about him that was because I want you. I'll wait until morning to go over there he probably won't remember it. Please Miranda I am very very sorry"

　

She sighed then turned to him "Alright I'll give you his address but you had better fix this."

　

"You have my word Miranda..."

 


	6. Chapter 6

James was surly when he opened his door to see Thomas standing there still in the clothes from the night before "What the hell do you want? Come to brag about how good it was? I made my feelings clear last night now kindly fuck off" he went to shut the door but Thomas stopped him "What happened last night, was regrettable I must admit and I started out doing it to get under your skin but I never thought you would react like that. I am sorry James but please do not take this out on Miranda, she did try her best to resist me."

 

James rolled his eyes trying to shove the door shut but Thomas was persistent "Hamilton you are asking for another beating" he warned him but Thomas just smiled "What's tickling your balls all of a sudden?"

 

"Nothing, James I realize that what I did was impetuous and immature. I am sorry you must believe me please may I come in?" his blue eyes glittered in the soft lights of the hallway they spoke louder than his words. There was genuine remorse in them making James open the door fully and holding his arm out to welcome him inside.

 

"Thank you. I promised Miranda I would fix everything and that is what I intend to do. So if you must thrash and beat me then so be it but please call her and make up with her."

 

"You fascinate me Thomas Hamilton and at the same time frustrate the shit out of me" James said shutting the door and going straight for his liquor cabinet.

 

Thomas stifled a laugh, "Oddly enough you are not the first one to say that about me. I'm charming yet annoying."

 

"I'll drink to that" James raised his glass of Scotch then knocked it back "Okay you're both forgiven because I have an idea of how to use this to our professional advantage"

 

Thomas looked at him strangely "I'm sorry what? I fucked your girlfriend and you want to use this..."

 

"Now hear me out, what if we make it look like the two of you are dating and she is the woman who changes everything for you? She takes this wild man and tames him pretty great eh?" he poured himself another drink.

 

"And when did this brilliant gem of an idea crack open in your head? Was it on the way home after the altercation at Miranda's apartment building or when you stumbled in here and got pissed away again? Is this to be some sort of punishment?" Thomas crossed his arms wondering about James's sanity at that moment.

 

"Look I am fucking enraged about what you two did to me but I am a business man so I cannot help but see the bigger picture so are you in?"

 

"I would like time to think about it if you don't mind. But in the meantime will you call Miranda? She is devastated and still loves you"

 

"Yeah I'm going to need time to think about that one. Now if you'll excuse me I have to vomit and scrape myself together to be presentable enough to conduct a teleconference with some online entertainment blogger to put a quell on those rumors of you being a coke head." James opened the door for him to leave he took his cue but when he turned to say something James had already shut the door. Thomas stared at it mournfully.

 

**

Thomas went home and sat in his living room sketching in his pad where kept portraits, he always had a talent for drawing but it wasn't something his father allowed him to indulge in as a boy "Drawing is for sissy boys! You are a boy and you are going to play sports" he could still hear his father's booming yell and Thomas did play sports. He played rugby in college and polo with his uncles on weekends but when he went to university his roommate was majoring in art and it got him scribbling again. Thomas smiled to himself thinking about all the ladies he charmed out of their panties by sketching them in Titanic style sessions, they were all taken by his masculinity but once they found out he had the soul of an artist and a poet; he did little love sonnets for females on the spot as a bet with some of his university buddies, the ladies swarmed to him.

 

He had gotten lost somewhere between the lines of the pencil and his memories of former times when the doorbell rang. His housekeeper Agnes answered the door and upon hearing his guest's voice it made him cringe and stop sketching, it was his father. "Where is my son?"

 

"He is in the living room sir shall I..."

 

"No, I know where the damn living room is"

 

Thomas smirked as he heard himself mutter "I wish she'd show you the damn door" he slid the pencil back into the cardboard pack then took one last look at his sketch it was the beginning of a face the only thing he managed to get done was the eyes. Deep sea blue was the only color that was going on the page, he smiled as she shut it up then hid the pad and pencils as if they were evidence into the bottom drawer of the coffee table.

 

He rose from the sofa as his father entered the room "Father this is a surprise"

 

"Yes, well I just had to come as soon as I heard the news about Peter Ashe's new business venture and when I heard of who his business partner is, I must say I was very shocked."

 

Alfred Hamilton had very seldom given Thomas a compliment or encouragement, it was his belief tough love was the best to keep his son on the straight and narrow but it had the opposite effect on Thomas. He braced himself for the back hand of his words "It bemused me I even chuckled at first..."

 

"Thanks father so glad I could bring laughter into your life. But this is no joke I am one hundred percent on board with Peter and have been very active in this business venture"

 

Alfred smirked, "You? A womanizing flirt, cares about women's safety? Hardly you're one of the reasons they need such a service"

 

"I'll have you know I have a wonderful woman in my life who has really opened my eyes" Thomas felt his cheeks reddened he didn't mean to drag Miranda into his failing relationship with his father but he wanted the old man to eat shit so badly.

 

He looked taken back "Really? What is her name?"

 

"Miranda Barlow"

 

"An actress that is mentally ill? You couldn't do better? Well, I suppose she's better than that coked out super model that you swore you were so in love with. How long have you two been together?"

 

Thomas knew he should've just stood up to his father but he felt compelled to keep lying "Two months but it's been very low key. In fact the women I've been out with have been my decoys to be able to go see her freely without the burden of the paparazzi" it just seemed to connect and fit easily as he wove the story together.

 

"Intriguing. When are you bringing her home? You know the annual retreat to our estate in Anglesey is coming up soon you may bring her if you'd like. I look forward to meeting her" for the first time in many years his father had seemed to be softening.

 

"I will see if Miranda's schedule will permit but yes I would most enjoy bringing her to meet the family."

 

"Excellent now if you'll excuse me I am having lunch with some old college friends. Thomas I do hope this isn't some clever little ruse you are using to try to keep me off your back because if I find out that you're lying to me I will pull the plug on your party boy lifestyle. I will take this house, your collection of classic cars...I will cut you off completely! And before you give me that line about your mother's money I have bad news about that, you ran out of that years ago and when I say years I mean at least a decade ago and I have been footing your bills ever since. So the money you invested in Peter Ashe's business well, that was mine and if you do not straighten up I will yank your half of the profits. Are we at an understanding?"

 

Thomas was blown away that the money he had been abusing and mishandling had been his father's he would speak to his mother's attorney as soon as he could to verify, he sneered at his father "You always make yourself very clear father. Now if you'll excuse me I have phone calls to make Agnes will show you out"

 

"No need it's just no more than six fucking steps away from this room" he heard him grumbling down the hall.

 

Thomas rushed to the phone and dialed James "It's me I am in a spot of trouble and I'm going to need your advice..."

 


	7. Chapter 7

"You did what?!?" Miranda shouted at Thomas with her arms crossed then she turned her angry glare to James "And you told him it was alright to do so? Well, what do you two propose to do if I decide I'm not apart of this altogether?"

　

"Miranda, I am very sorry..."

　

"So you keep saying Thomas" she threw at him hatefully. "Look this can work to all of our advantages alright? Besides it's not as if you have to marry him we will figure out how to get this relationship to reach a natural ending but in the meantime please Miranda it's just acting" James came to her and crouched in front of her. She closed her eyes and sighed "Alright but I get to make up the story of how we met."

　

"That's fine and more than fair" Thomas offered a small smile but she just shook her head.

　

Thomas watched as James took her hands into his and they looked at one another he could see how much she was in love with him but he seemed more distant to her but he was trying to be present. "It's only for a little while I promise" James gave her his word.

　

They shared a kiss but James broke away first "You guys can show yourselves out I have a meeting with my boss"

　

"Will I see you tonight?" Miranda asked after him he only turned slightly to answer her "I'll actually be working late tonight I have a hell of a mess to clean up from a former colleague getting fired but I'll try and stop by in the morning."

　

When he was out of the room Miranda sighed heavily "He is furious still and I don't think anything is going to fix this" she fretted.

　

"You obviously know him better than I but it seems as if he's okay as he can be I suppose given the circumstances. But how can you tell?" Thomas asked with curiosity.

　

"Every man has their tells and James becomes austere when he's been wronged. He can forget but he cannot forgive and he will hold onto this. So much has happened to him I mean I don't know everything but I do know his mother abandoned him and his father hates him. The only love James knew was from his grandfather. He doesn't take betrayal well. If we are going to do this I want us to maintain integrity so we are to keep the affection to a minimum. I don't want us to get swept away by this mockery of a romance and end up sleeping together"

　

"I agree, I know you love him and I hope things can return to a steady pace for the two of you. I'm sorry for dragging you into this at all because of my pettiness" he apologized again for what seemed like the hundredth time.

**

　

"You wanted to see me?" James ducked his head into Saxton's office "James! Congratulations by the way on roping in Thomas it's good that we're all on the same team. And as such I have a special reward for you"

　

James rolled his eyes behind his boss's back as he stood to whack the golf ball in the floor into a glass cup "Alfred has extended an invite to me to join them on their annual vacation to their estate in Anglesey and I want you to come with us"

　

"Wales?" James groaned "Come on now don't be like that! Be a team player besides Alfred is dying to meet you"

　

"Oh I suppose he is wants to know what I've been sniffing but sad to report nothing really. Besides isn't it supposed to be a family vacation?" James had to try very hard to get out of going. He didn't long to spend a time watching his girlfriend make love eyes with his client and heaven forbid if there be alcohol, James would drink himself into an angry stupor and give Thomas what for again.

　

"Well we won't be staying the whole time it's a week they stay we'll only be going for the weekend. I know they aren't your type but you'll get along wonderfully with Alfred's brothers William and Everett well at least William he's a bit like you while Everett is a little funny if you get what I mean" he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

　

"You mean gay? Sure that's a big scandal in the Hamilton family even though it's 2018 for god's sake. Those Hamilton's really are a progressive bunch of..."

　

Saxon cut his eyes at him with warning "...darlings. Progressive bunch of darlings. Do I have a choice in the matter of attending?"

　

"No, I wasn't asking I'm making it mandatory. I e-mailed you all the details; when we're leaving, how we're getting there and what to bring that sort of thing"

　

James sighed "Looking forward to it already" he dragged himself back to his office it was time for a long drink.

 


	8. Chapter 8

When James arrived on Friday afternoon he was getting out of his cab as Miranda was being helped out of Thomas's sports car. She gave him a pained smile he looked away quickly he still wasn't entirely over her betrayal, he burned on the inside struggling with his ego. He knew Thomas was far more charming than he but he never believed Miranda would be so easily swayed he gave her something that was superior to charm and that was his genuine and honest feelings. James was stubborn, willful and suffered pride but when he laid his heart out for Miranda it was sincere and she dropped her panties so easily for a known playboy; it shouldn't have surprised him though. Thomas was everything James was not and he was more open about his vices, he had never told Miranda about his cocaine habit and he never intended to. It was his demon and he would handle it.

　

The staff brought them into the drawing room where Alfred awaited them with his two brothers. William was closer to Alfred's age but he was tall and muscularly toned it made James smirk to himself he could tell by his dyed locks that he must've been dating a younger woman and trying to recapture his days as a young fox. Everett was much younger than both his brothers he must've been their father's mid-life crisis child because he looked to be in his early fifties and to be an older version of Thomas but with the exception of his hair being chestnut brown but the blue eyes were a Hamilton exclusive as all the men had them.

　

James felt out of place and wondered where Saxton was he shoved his hands in his pockets then walked over to the window that overlooked the front lawn and out to the cliffs and the water, he watched the clouds moving in to set a dreary tone. "Who the hell are you?" Alfred spoke to James rudely behind his back he turned "James McGraw, I am a guest of Edward Saxton's" he held out his hand but Alfred just let it hang so he put it away. Thomas rolled his eyes off the side his father was awful at times.

　

"Well, I received a phone call an hour ago that he will not be able to attend this weekend his wife had a family emergency that took precedence but I suppose you are welcome to stay. Was your wife unable to attend with you?" he inquired to which James had to keep himself from breaking his grace it already was coming apart at the seams "I'm not married but my girlfriend had a prior engagement I came upon my boss's request."

　

Thomas laughed silently behind his father's back James was the perfect person to play verbal tennis with him. He winked as soon as James was able to pull himself away from the conversation but James just went back to staring out the window. Later he would try to corner James to have a man to man discussion hoping to resolve the tension between them. He didn't know why but he was up in knots worrying if James secretly now hated him.

**

　

"Look at you Thomas the spitting image of your mother. She would be so proud of you" Everett stood at the doorway of he and Miranda's room. Thomas came to him and embraced him "Uncle Everett how are you?"

　

"Well I'm fine for now ask me when this nightmare is over in a week, after you father and William finish with me I may be certifiable."

　

"You and I both. How is Manuel?" Thomas felt horrible for his uncle because his husband Manuel was forbidden from ever attending any family vacations or holidays. His grandfather went to his grave believing his youngest son was a happily married straight man because Everett always brought along a female friend of his Elizabeth who was happy to protect her best friend's secret it wasn't until Thomas was sixteen he learned Everett's secret after he got tossed and bed Elizabeth. Everett sat him down and Thomas feared his uncle was angry with him but he calmed his fears then told him the truth.

　

Thomas admired Everett for being brave enough to hold his own and he did try to fight for his husband to come on the holidays and the trips but Alfred and William threatened to cut Everett off from the family money. Manuel being the loving husband decided to take a separate holiday with his family citing he didn't really want to spend that much time with his brother-in-laws.

　

"He's doing well he went home to Portugal for two weeks I'll be joining him after this week of hell is over. You should come too and bring your lovely Miranda"

　

Thomas sighed then shut the door "Miranda isn't really my girlfriend..."

　

"Oh my goodness Thomas she's your beard?" Everett gasped placing his hand over his heart.

　

"What? No! We're business partners she's the celebrity endorser of Peter and I's brainchild. The service I told you about. And James is the publicist my father hired to spy on me but we're working together behind his back. I'm going to break free from him clutches I cannot take anymore of him always bearing down on me and just the control..."

　

Everett put both hands on Thomas's shoulders "Say no more I understand. But do tell me more about that fiery ginger James is he one of the family?" Everett asked with a wink. Making Thomas chuckle "No, Miranda is actually his girlfriend"

　

"Okay this is twisted even for me and honey I have been in some twisted situations. Don't think I didn't see you winking at him"

　

Thomas blushed "It was only because of the way he was dishing it back out to my father" he scratched the back of his head uncomfortably.

　

"Thomas, I have known you since birth and my heart has always been in stitches for you. Always trying to be the son your father wanted then you rebelled to get his attention. I've known you to flit from flower to flower but never to stay, how long are you going to deny who you really are? We don't have to discuss this but you can only fend this off for so long and believe me nephew it doesn't just go away. Stop hating yourself. You are a truly special guy with so much potential. I am proud of who you are when are you going to be?" Thomas had tears in his eyes as Everett patted his shoulder and gave him a hug.

　

Miranda interrupted "Sorry but dinner is being served soon"

　

Everett nodded politely to Miranda with a smile "Think about what I said okay?" he looked back to Thomas who just nodded and turned away to the window. Miranda entered the room fully and shut the door "Is everything alright?" she came to his side and placed her hand on his arm.

　

"No, we were just talking about my mother. I'm fine you go ahead down to dinner my father expects me to exceptionally late anways the only time I don't want to disappoint disappointing him" he joked wiping his eyes.

　

Once alone he kept his gaze out the window and the tears were flowing freely. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in a pane of glass he stared at himself as if he were trying to figure out who he was looking at. There was a knock on the door then it opened it was James "Your father is a total assbag so you had better get your ass down to that dinner table before I say something belligerent" Thomas could see his reflection in one of the other pane's he stared longingly at him but began to pull himself into his charming character "Well be my guest and put the old bird in his place. Maybe that'll be what sends him into cardiac arrest" he chuckled "I'll be down soon I promise not to leave you alone with him and a bottle of alcohol"

　

"If you're wise you won't" James said with a small laugh then disappeared down the hall. Thomas caught sight of himself in the mirror hanging over the fireplace he took a deep breath and straightened himself out but the only thing he couldn't fix was the unhappiness in his eyes luckily it was invisible to most people anyways.

 


	9. Chapter 9

"My mother used to love that window seat..." James was startled by Thomas pulling him out of his thoughts. He hadn't been able to sleep it was a strange place and he wondered if Miranda and Thomas were in the same bed or not but to see Thomas standing in his robe answered his question. He came and sat beside James "...we used to sit here when I was a boy and she would read to me or just hold me close to her while I napped."

　

"It's an odd place to find solitude and peace since it's out in the open but I am drawn to it" James said gazing back out the window as the wind beat rain drops against the glass. Thomas grew nervous this was his chance to air everything and get the answer he was seeking. "James, I feel like we're at odds now and I don't wish to be that way with you. I can see being on the wrong side of you feels..." he stopped in mid-sentence.

　

James looked at him waiting for him to finish but he couldn't "Feels like what?" Thomas looked at him but it was as if he were seeing Thomas for the very first time as he couldn't recognize the man sitting before him. The cocky and confident playboy had left and here sat a vulnerable man in his place. There was something in his eyes but James couldn't read it clearly but he didn't have time to speak or ask questions as Thomas suddenly pressed his lips to James's. Before James could pull away Thomas placed his hand on the side of his neck he stroked his thumb against his beard.

　

They both could hear footsteps approaching making Thomas release James then he retreated quickly back upstairs leaving James in haze of confusion.

　

**

　

He didn't just do that, he couldn't have just done **that**. Thomas rushed back to his and Miranda's shared room she took the bed while he was sleeping in the chaise. His heart raced as he dashed into the room and shut the door leaning against it. Thomas's lips were still tingling and could feel the sweet softness of James's lips.

　

Removing his robe he kept thinking about it and it answered the most burning question Thomas had about himself. He was indeed as his Uncle Everett had known him to be but what was he to do now? "Bloody coward" he muttered to himself as he then remembered he left James in a hurry not even staying to see his reaction. But that opened a whole new can of worms, the scenarios of how everything could've played out if he had remained with James afterwards. Thomas's mind went straight to the worst James punching him or shoving him away and saying something derogatory. But James had not made any moves to stop him even after their lips were locked so maybe he didn't mind, maybe he was even curious. Thomas tossed and turned on the chaise playing with all the possibilities but he wouldn't know until he went back downstairs and confronted him.

　

But Thomas couldn't bring himself to get up again he felt as if he were weighted down by his fear. He rolled over onto his side and drew the blanket up tightly around him, Thomas decided he wasn't going downstairs again nor would he mention it. Instead he would work harder to forget the entire debacle and he would find a way to get over this. He had to.

　

**

　

James knew he didn't imagine what just happened, he couldn't have been **that** drunk, hell he wasn't even what he considered buzzed. He didn't think too much or even really breathe much after that, how could he? Thomas took most of his oxygen with the kiss. That's when James's brain lit up that Thomas had kissed him.

　

He didn't quite know how he felt about it or even what he thought about it but it was a surprise when the internal census came back to him that he in fact didn't mind. It was quite a shock to him that he didn't care another man had kissed him. When Thomas had made moves before it intimidated James, maybe it was the sloppy presentation or maybe it was the idea that this cocky guy thought he owned anyone he put his hand to. The Thomas that asked him to stay the first night they met versus the Thomas that sat before him almost in tears trying to explain how he didn't mean to hurt him were two entirely different men.

　

James had never thought of his sexuality in depth he had always gone after women and he never had issue with homosexuality, it didn't provoke him to anger or to be squeamish. It was all in how someone presented things to him, he wouldn't take kindly to any man or woman presenting themselves as if they were God's gift to the world because he wasn't raised to be arrogant or cocky but with the level of vulnerability he was shown by Thomas he knew he had to handle it carefully.

　

He didn't mind. That was what stayed with James and as he began to actually replay the entire thing in his head he even began to feel something different. He liked it.

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

In the morning when James managed to get out of the bed he came down to brunch to hear a commotion in the dining room "What the bloody hell did the old man die?" he muttered under his breath when he came in to see Thomas on bended knee with Miranda's hand in his and he was slipping an engagement ring on her finger.

　

She caught sight of him and gave him a questioning look as he did the same to her "Congratulations my boy it is far past the time this should have been done" Alfred patted him on the back. Thomas's face was pale and his heart was racing this was the only way he convinced himself to get away from the previous night's events and protect himself.

　

When he stood upright he kissed Miranda's forehead "What the hell are you playing at?" she whispered her cheeks burning red.

　

"We can talk about this later but please right now just go along with it" he whispered back.

　

He let her go and turned to see James his face blushed immediately "This calls for champagne because my son has finally embraced maturity. My dear you have done wonders with him, you have the hallmarks of a great wife in you" Alfred commended Miranda while James chased Thomas down into the drawing room where they had shared a kiss in the window seat Thomas now looked at with disgust and shame.

　

"What the bloody **fuck** are you doing? We did not discuss you doing this" James said through gritted teeth.

　

"Yes, well I made my own move and a smart one if I do say so myself. We will ride this out until it is natural for us to end it and that's most likely to be after the public launch. I will have Miranda tear my heart out and sling it at me for the public to watch and then they will go from hating me to pitying me though she and I shall remain good friends" he never once looked at James while he fabricated everything on the spot.

　

"You're playing a dangerous game Hamilton because there will be more than one story spun about the how's and why's but if you think this is best we'll play it your way. Is there anything else you'd like to discuss?"

　

He knew James was waiting for him to acknowledge what happened but he instead just turned to look at him with the most blank expression "No. If you'd like you can go home now I don't see why you'd want to suffer the rest of this weekend out if you don't have to. You came and punched your card I'm sure your boss will be pleased"

　

James stood there in shock "Did you just dismiss me? I think you need mental help yourself Thomas since you seem to have so many personalities. You have learned to be a human light switch turning that charm off and on at will and when it suits you. We may still be business partners but don't dare fucking cross me because I can cause all this to crash around you. Remember I know this is a sham don't put me in that position. I have crushed former clients that thought they were better at my job than me I'll do it again. Enjoy your stuffy family vacation I have shit to do back in London anyways." he brushed against Thomas's shoulder aggressively.

　

Thomas exhaled sharply taking at a seat at the window seat when his Uncle Everett appeared in the doorway "So it's going to be like that is it? You may have just ruined..."

　

"Not now!" Thomas snapped making his uncle shrink back and leave him be. Thomas felt the sting of tears surfacing and the hot streaks down his cheeks "I know what I may have done and someday he'll be grateful I did" he whispered aloud tracing his index finger into a heart shape on the glass. Thomas had to convince himself this was for the best and not just for his protection but for James's as well.

**

　

The news of Thomas and Miranda's secret relationship and now engagement broke by Tuesday morning and paparazzi had tracked them down to Anglesey, James on the phone with Miranda guided her to get photos of she and Thomas out and about. Seeing the images of them online made James sick but it was nothing liquor and his dirty habit couldn't fix.

　

He was laying sprawled out on his sofa after doing a few lines "Stupid arrogant blue eyed prick!" he growled "Who does that son of a bitch think he is? Thinks everything in this world belongs to him because he's a rich fuck. I don't belong to him, I wouldn't want to..." he began to feel ashamed he curled up in the fetal position and began to cry. It felt strange to him caring about how Thomas felt or didn't feel for him.

　

The memory of his lips kissing James and the hot flesh of his palm against the skin of his neck with this thumb stroking his beard made James shudder and he began to get aroused. He unfurled himself and slid his hand down into his pajama pants and his briefs wrapping his palm around his stiffening eight inch cock. James panted as he stroked himself thinking of Thomas, he envisioned Thomas sucking making him begin to fist his erection harder. The thoughts of his blue eyes looking up at James innocently like a school boy awaiting instruction and to be told how good he is nearly brought James to the edge, how he wished the sight was in the flesh. Just as he was getting control over his appetite he began to remember seeing Thomas fucking Miranda against her apartment door, his jealousy raged but it subsided as he remembered they had make up sex shortly after. James let a gasp escape his lips as he realized he had his cock inside of Miranda after Thomas she was filled with both their juices. Shaking and writhing he stroked himself to cum "Fucking Thomas Hamilton" he swore breathlessly.

 


	11. Chapter 11

"You said we would talk about why the hell I'm wearing your mother's ring and you haven't fulfilled your word on that. So please indulge me Thomas tell me what the hell is this?" Miranda asked holding her left hand up displaying to him the engagement ring his mother once wore.

　

Thomas sighed, "I really do not know what came over me but I promise you will not have to fulfill it's meaning. This is just temporary until the launch party then you are going to cheat on me and put it my face. I will garner support and you can go back to your life with James. By then I hope to have found a serious relationship" he kept his eyes on the floor just staring wistfully.

　

Miranda was a highly discerning woman she could tell when a storm was brewing inside a man but she didn't want to cross the line of the professional agreement they had but she could see Thomas was troubled. She sat beside him on the chaise "Is there someone you're in love with but cannot be with?"

　

He glanced over at her "I wouldn't call it love but I cannot have them. Love is like that sometimes we always want what we cannot have"

　

"Well, how do you know she doesn't want you? Have you told her how you feel?"

　

Thomas had to smile Miranda assumed it was a woman but how could she not? They way he impulsively took her and the way he bedded women they were all convinced he was a straight man. He did enjoy them to a point but he had such a yearning to experience a man, having a lover that already understood how he enjoyed being touched it was an overwhelming urge in him.

　

"You don't mean me do you?" Thomas didn't answer her right away even though he should've instead he looked at her with tears starting to well up as he was about to make an even bigger fool of himself and play another role further supressing his true self. "Oh my goodness, Thomas no! I love James and I just got him - I don't even..." Thomas stopped her from speaking by kissing her.

　

With every soft peck then with more vigor he cried more tears this wasn't what he really wanted. He wanted her to turn into James and he'd keep kissing her lips wanting to sample even the slightest hint of James.

　

It didn't feel right to Miranda even if it made her feel good and it wasn't just betraying James again there was something off about Thomas. It wasn't like before when they were at her apartment, something had happened over the weekend to change him. She stopped him before they went too far "Okay something is a bit odd right now with you. You haven't known me that long and we only had sex once. Thomas I'm pretty inutitive when it comes to men and if I had to venture a guess you are hiding something."

　

"Yes, my feelings for you. I have always been impulsive but you are..." she put her fingers to his lips to silence him.

　

"James left here angry, you're father is an asshole but no one can shake James so easily. What happened between you two?" it was worth mentioning just to gauge Thomas's reaction. His tears began falling in larger drops.

　

Thomas looked away from her as he sobbed it was then it hit Miranda "Oh my god. You're not falling for me. You're falling for James" she put her hand on his arm for comfort but he slapped it away.

　

"Don't touch me" he felt sickened with himself if Miranda could figure it out how long before everyone else? He stood up going to the fireplace looking at himself in the mirror hatefully "Thomas there is nothing to be ashamed of. You have done nothing wrong and you can't help how you feel" she got up and followed him.

　

"I have tried all my life to banish it from me. I wanted nothing more than to be what was normal. My father barely accepts my uncle what chance do I have?" he spoke softly. Miranda tugged at his sleeve until he faced her she wrapped her arms around him "It's alright. Does James know how you feel is that what upset him?"

　

Thomas pulled away only slightly to look at her "It's a bit complicated. The other night I got up and found him in the drawing room, I wanted to talk to him about what happened between you and I, finally clear the air but I was going into my personal feelings then I froze. I kissed him"

　

Miranda was stunned by his revelation "And? Did he get angry?"

　

"I don't really know how he felt about the kiss I ran away as soon as I heard someone else moving around in the house. Then that's when I concocted the engagement to further hide this shame of mine. I basically dismissed James and practically made an enemy of out him and ass out of myself. Things are strained between him and I worse than before. Miranda I just want to forget it and move on with my life. I'll find some woman decent enough to settle down with and when my father is dead maybe then I can be free to be myself."

"That's a hell of a long wait Thomas. Do you really want to live miserably pretending to be someone you're not? Just to make a man you hate proud of you?"

　

"It's not entirely about him. I've never been comfortable with myself but no one could tell until now. Promise me you'll keep this between us that I can trust you"

　

"Of course Thomas."

 


	12. Chapter 12

Miranda came to see James first thing when she got back but she was told he hadn't been in the office since Tuesday. Worried for him she came to his apartment he opened the door looking dazed "What day is it?" he was disheveled and looked as if he hadn't showered in days.

　

"It's Friday they said you haven't been to work in a few days. Are you sick?"

　

James smirked if only she knew how sick he was "Well, I have been a little under the weather but I'm getting better" it looked as if he wasn't going to allow her inside but Miranda didn't mind being pushy sometimes with him.

　

He held his arm out to block her "James, I came all the way here to see you. What is the matter with you?"

　

"I don't want you to catch what I have. I'll call you tomorrow I should feel one hundred percent by then. Besides don't you have fake wedding plans to make?" he chuckled a little.

　

"I'll let you continue to recover and rest" his attitude was irking her he just slammed the door as she walked away.

　

He knew where she was going to run and that was to the toned and muscular arms of Thomas, her new white knight. James was still flying on his high but he hoped they would spend the night together and he would screw her the next day. His rising erection led him back to the sofa to lay down and take care of it.

**

　

"Miranda? I thought you were going to see James" Thomas opened up to see a sullen Miranda standing at his doorstep under an umbrella.

　

"I think he spent the last three days drinking himself stupid. He was bitter and just vile can I come in?"

　

Thomas nodded and allowed her inside he took her to his living room "You draw?" she asked after noticing the art supplies "Yes I have a natural talent."

　

She took a seat on the couch and reached for it "May I?" she asked permission before opening it "Sure."

　

Thomas watched as she flipped through the pages lingering on a few drawings "Wow, Thomas these are amazing and life like. Especially this gentleman" she showed him a particular sketch of a muscular brunette.

　

"Ahh yes that was Christopher he was my university roommate, he had a penchant for sleeping nude and I have a very good memory; although I think I may have exaggerated the penis a bit." he chuckled sipping his tea.

　

"You sketched this from a memory long ago? Wow, I barely remember university" she then came across the latest sketch and right away she knew from the eyes who it was going to be "James" she said with a soft smile "You really captured his eyes perfectly. Sometimes he's the most amazing man I've ever known and then other times he's darker, he scares me."

　

"He has inner demons. We all do" Thomas said staring at the page until Miranda shut it and set it on the coffee table.

　

"How I wish James would open up to me. I could help him if he'd let me" Miranda turned her body inward towards Thomas. Her body language told him that she was inviting him sexually to her "Well, men suffer from pride. We don't want help because we feel we are the ones who do the helping."

　

Miranda smiled at him but she was looking at his lips "Miranda, I know what you want and it's because you're frustrated with James"

　

"Yes, I do want you Thomas. It wasn't fake what we did before you enjoyed it didn't you?" she held onto some hope that he was at least still half interested in her if only for the moment.

　

"What happened to keeping the affection to a minimum? Did that go out the door when James shut his on your face? You're already nursing a wound with him, don't make it bigger - believe me it's terrible"

　

She scooted closer to him "Please Thomas, I need to feel a man. I'm not asking for it to be meaningful but I want to feel you inside me"

　

Thomas set his tea cup on the saucer then stood up Miranda thought for a moment he was going to ask her to leave but instead he held out his hand for her. She slipped her fingers into his palm as he helped her up then led her upstairs. "Tell me how it feels when James fucks you" he said after they undressed and got on his bed.

　

"Do you want me to describe it while you fuck me?" Miranda's stomach was being gnawed at by her anxiousness. She wanted both men and knowing Thomas wanted James made her burn with lust to experience the two of them together. Thomas laid her back and spread her legs climbing between them she marveled at his nine inch cut cock, licking her lips as he slid the condom on. She let out a soft moan as the head of cock prodded her wet hole, Thomas laid over her "Tell me everything" he whispered as he pressed more inches into her.

　

"He's absolutely beautiful naked he's freckled all over" she whispered while letting out soft whimpers. Thomas hummed sensually pressing in and pulling out of her "I kiss as many of them as I can, his skin is always hot to the touch" she continued. His mouth dropped open imagining James wrapped around him on a cold and rainy day "More" he whispered keeping the rhythm.

　

"His cock is eight inches long, five inches in width and is cut. He likes the head to be sucked on for a long time and he goes crazy when my tongue licks the slit" Miranda was driving Thomas nearly insane he began to fuck her harder. "Don't stop, tell me more" he begged.

　

"James likes to get rough with his lovers he pulls hair, grabs my ass and spanks both my bottom and pussy. He likes to fuck me so hard from behind that his balls slap against my clit"

　

"I like it rough too" Thomas went even harder with his cock inside Miranda "Has he ever fucked you in the bottom?"

　

"He only likes that when he's been drinking and he's quite crude about it, he doesn't lube up he just puts his dick in my ass" that was all it took Thomas was up from her balancing on his palms and going faster until she cried out "Thomas let me suck you!"

　

Once her orgasm had passed Thomas pulled out of her and discarded the condom Miranda got on her knees beside the bed between his legs. "Do what you do to him" he instructed her, he wanted the complete experience James got. He closed his eyes and imagined James enjoying a blowjob it made his entire cock ache with want for him. And when Miranda took just the head, swirling her tongue all around and then into the piss slit he shot a hot load into her throat. He let out a few more spurts as he pictured James cumming for him.

　

Thomas laid there awake while Miranda slept he looked over at her then back up to the ceiling she was as close as he was getting to James, it was frustrating but it would do.

**

　

James awoke early the next morning and felt energized he took a shower and cleaned up his apartment then gave Miranda a ring. She came over quickly he assumed she was over her mad spell they were sitting on his sofa and he was kissing her neck, biting at it aggressively. "Ouch! James dammit be gentle" she scolded him.

　

"Did you fuck him?" he whispered in her ear he saw her cheeks redden "Please don't be mad" he put his finger to her lips then jerked her chin to look at him "He used protection this time and I just gave him a blowjob last night and this morning."

　

"Before you came over?"

　

"Yes. I'm sorry..." he shoved his tongue into her mouth exploring the taste seeking out any trace of Thomas's juice. Miranda stopped him "James if I didn't know any better I'd say this turning you on"

　

"So what if it is? I'm going to admit something to you and only to you. It did get me hot when I saw him fucking you and not just angry hot. Hot, hot"

　

"You enjoy sharing me with Thomas?"

　

"Yes, but you can only fuck him"

　

James was beginning to worry Miranda, even though this was her fantasy now she didn't really think James would be so accepting and giving to it. She began to suspect he may have requited Thomas's feelings.

 


	13. Chapter 13

A month of having both James and Thomas were becoming exhausting to Miranda she had figured out when James asked her not to shower after having sex with Thomas and come straight to him that he wanted Thomas just as much. She felt tied up inside agreeing to keep their secrets but knowing if they could just get together they would find relief and she may be able to take a break.

　

"So when is your engagement set to implode?" James asked laying beside Miranda with his fingers inserted into her pussy, he enjoyed her more when she had Thomas's cum inside her. He sometimes would throw her down on the bed and suck his juice out of her pussy and it was the same with Thomas. She sighed removing his fingers and getting up "What's the matter?"

　

"James, you're not being entirely honest with me or yourself I believe" she put on his dress shirt and began buttoning it up "What are you talking about?" he sat up against the headboard.

　

"I know why you really like having me after Thomas has..."

　

"Shut your fucking mouth Miranda!" he snarled at her shocking her "James?!?"

　

"What? You know how absolutely nasty I can be not to mention vulgar but if you finish that sentence I will beat you to an inch of your life"

　

Her eyes widened "What the fuck is the matter with you?!? I'm leaving I don't have to put up with this or you. And for the record I don't care if you do, it doesn't change how I see you or how much I love you. But this - you speaking to me like that and threatening me I can't stand by that. You need to get your shit together, call me when you're yourself again." she collected her clothes and left the room.

　

James rolled his eyes going into the master closet for his safe. He punched the code and opened it up to find it emptied "Fuck!" he slammed it shut then began throwing clothes from the racks and shoes in a fit of rage.

　

Miranda could hear him raging from the living room she hurried out of the apartment before he found her still inside and turned his anger on her. She had to convince Thomas to come to him and as soon as he possibly could. James was spiraling out of control, Thomas was the only one who could save him now.

 


	14. Chapter 14

The tears glistening in Miranda's eyes and her uncontrollable shaking told Thomas that James had gone into one of his fits of darkness she had told him about and crossed a line. "He was throwing things and screaming. Thomas you have to go to him, I didn't want to tell you because it's his business but he enjoys having me after you have. He wants you too but I think he's scared and angry."

　

Thomas knew James's anger was his fault but he wasn't sure he could muster up the courage to confront James. He kissed Miranda on the forehead "I'm so sorry this is all my fault. I will do my best to calm the storm raging within him but I can't promise you it will have positive results. He may reject me but I think it's best you stay away from him for a while until I contact you and tell you it's alright."

　

She nodded "I'm going home I have a early morning talk show I'm going on. Thomas this has to stop, the lying and the hiding. James is coming undone I don't think he can handle this like you, this is all new to him. I love you both so much and I know how bad you two need one another, so please hold him and protect him from himself." she cried embracing Thomas. He wrapped his arms around her "I will but you must understand that's only if he's willing to let me"

　

Before she left she looked at him seriously "Sometimes you have to reach in through someone's storm and wrap your arms around them. The winds will still blow and the rain will still pour but they'll feel safe and that's the point."

**

　

Standing at James's door Thomas almost didn't go through with knocking but his fist raised and rapped three times. It took a few minutes and Thomas was ready to walk away when the door opened slightly "What the bloody fuck do you want?"

　

"Miranda came to me she said that you were unusually hostile towards her and even threatened to beat her within a inch of her life, sound familiar?"

　

"Figures she'd go running to you so what did you come over here for hmm? Did you come to fight? Because we both know who will win" James said opening the door fully.

　

"James, we both know who ended up on that floor last time and it wasn't me. I didn't come here to fight you. I'm worried about you, she's worried about you. Is this about what happened that weekend?" he said in a lowered voice.

　

James's head was pounding and he was in dire need of a fix but his usual supplier was away on vacation he wasn't prepared to deal with this. "Get the fuck away from me!" he began to shout Thomas shrank back at first but he could see James was trembling and it wasn't usually when an alcoholic went too long without a drink, it was much worse. "Dear God! James what are you on?" he tried to comfort him by placing his hands on his shoulders but James went wild on him.

　

He shoved him into the wall across from his door "FUCK YOU! You don't know shit about me! You and that slut can go fuck yourselves!" he was stark raving mad. Thomas had to reach into his storm and pull him to him for his own safety.

　

"James stop this! I don't know what drug you're abusing but you're having bad withdrawals. I'm here to help you" Thomas placed both hands on the side of his face and held him steady looking into his eyes with compassion.

　

"This is all your fault. I hate you." James began breaking down into Thomas's arms. He pulled him closer and wrapped him up in his arms "It's okay I'm here and I'm going to help you get better. You can hate me if you want to and blame me that's not what matters right now. Lets get you inside and in bed."

　

James jerked away from him "You'd like that wouldn't you? To get me into bed then the next day you'd pretend like nothing happened. Just leave me alone Thomas! I'll be better soon this is just a flare up of a condition I have"

　

"Yes, you have a drug addiction and I wasn't going to get you in bed for sex. I was going to get you to rest please let me help you. I can get what you need" Thomas made his offer.

　

He desperately needed cocaine he wasn't going to be able to stave off his anxiety or the sickness of not having it much longer but also didn't want to tell Thomas the truth it was his private demon, the monkey on his back. "Yes! You can help me I need coke and I need it now!" he shook and sobbed. Thomas took out his phone and sent out a short text to an unidentified number then he accepted James back into his arms "Come on it's going to be a few minutes before they get back to me. I'm going to put you to bed and clean up your apartment a little bit" he led him inside.

　

James wrapped his arms around Thomas tightly "Help me Thomas! Please make it stop!" he begged. Thomas stroked James's hair "I will come now lets get you settled down until we get what you need"

　

"Will you lay with me? I can't be alone right now I feel so sick" he held Thomas's shirt tightly in his fists. "Yes of course I will I'll do anything you want me to" he assured him.

　

He helped James lay down but he was shaking and trembling while his body spasmed "Thomas I can't take this please I need it!" he pleaded with Thomas. Thomas pulled him into his arms as he laid beside him "Just close your eyes and hold onto me. I won't let this wreck you. I promise."

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter gets dark, there is VERY offensive language and child abuse!

Bits of the sun fragmented into James's room and shined on his face he blinked his eyes a few times to see Thomas moving back and forth picking up clothes that were strewn about. He went to say his name but he passed out again. Another hour and James was awakened again but Thomas wasn't there he assumed he imagined him but he noticed all the clothes and carnage from his fit of rage were cleaned up. He had to work his way up out of the bed slowly but he staggered into his closet to see Thomas rehanging the bars to hang his clothes on he turned to start rehanging the clothes when he spotted James "Good you're awake. I honestly didn't know what was going to happen"

　

"What's going on? Why are you here?" James's memory was completely hazy. All he remembered was losing his temper after Miranda began making the suggestion that he was sexually attracted to Thomas and he realized he was out of cocaine. "You don't remember?" Thomas asked setting the clothes on hangers down and coming to James. He shook his head negatively "Miranda came to my house and told me that you had gotten very verbal and threatening with her. When I got here you had began losing it, you were shaking and were in the beginning stages of being dopesick. I got you the cocaine but you had passed out and went into a deep sleep I was scared that you were going to die. How long have you been doing this?"

　

James for some reason couldn't remember anything that Thomas told him he began feeling lightheaded and nearly fell over but Thomas held him up "You shouldn't be out of bed" he looked up at Thomas he could see the genuine concern in his eyes. The last time James had saw that look in someone's eyes it was when his grandfather found him cowering in the floor of his bedroom closet the night he took his grandson away from his son. That look told him there were still people who cared about him.

　

Thomas helped James back into bed "I'm going to get you some water you need to hydrate" he said pulling the covers up over James, when he went to leave James grabbed his hand tightly Thomas looked down at it then at James "Will you lay with me?" he sounded as scared and vulnerable as he did the first time he asked.

　

"Yes, but let me get your water first" he was hesitant about releasing Thomas but he lost consciousness and his hand slipped away from Thomas's.

　

_"James? Where are you? Come on out boy and take your punishment!" his father's voice echoed throughout their home. James sat hurdled up in a ball in closet hiding in the far corner just waiting to be found. His lip was busted and his right eye was starting to swell he knew it was going to bruise. James's backside hurt as did his torso he may have had a broken rib or two but he had to stay hidden just a little while longer and his father would give up and go to bed._

_"I know a bad little shit that better get his ass out here right fucking now! Stop being a coward you little pussy!" James jolted with fear as he heard his father strike one of the walls with his belt. He closed his eyes and ducked his face into his knees trying to imagine he was invisible. When he heard his bedroom door open and the heaviness of his father's footsteps approaching the closet he began to panic._

_James winced as the door opened he began sniffling "Hiding in the closet like a little faggot. Is that what you are gonna be James? A cock sucking faggot?" before James knew it his father had grabbed him by the hair of his head and dragged him out to his bedroom floor throwing him face down "No son of mine is going to be taking men in his asshole!"_

_"PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!" James screamed from the floor but his father with the belt tightly in his fist struck him down "SHUT UP! You disgust me you piece of shit! I have to work three fucking jobs to feed, clothe and shelter you! It was your fault your mother left us! She was a happy woman until you came along - you ruined her James! You ruined everything!"_

_James didn't try to move he just laid there taking his bitter and hurtful words. He figured the less he moved the less tempting it would be for his father to strike him again. They heard the front door bust open and footsteps running to James's room "What the hell are you doing to him?" it was his grandfather._

  
_"Dad get the hell out of my house! You don't pay my fucking bills or feed either one of us!" his father yelled. James looked back at his closet his little heart thudded like butterfly wings as he began crawling towards it his father and grandfather were engaged in a verbal screaming match while his grandmother was yelling in the background trying to reason with the two of them. James rested on the wooden floor and sobbed covering his ears trying to drown them all out._

_He didn't know if he had fallen asleep or just managed to go deaf but the closet door opened and there was no more screaming. "Unhh" James shielded himself to the floor shaking with fear "James? Come on son it's okay now. Your father isn't going to hurt you anymore" it was his grandfather. Slowly and cautiously he got up his grandfather held his face for a moment to take look "Jesus Christ! I'm so sorry I didn't know this was going on. It's over now James I promise. You're safe."_

Thomas came back into the room to see James thrashing around and crying out in his sleep. He set the glass of water beside the bed and sat on James's side of the bed he pulled him up "James! It's alright you're having a nightmare! James wake up!" he shook him lightly. James became conscious he had tears in his eyes Thomas held him close "It's okay you're here with me and you're safe."

　

James calmed and Thomas released him slowly "Here you need to drink water" Thomas was going to give him time to acclimate to realizing it was just a nightmare before asking him about it. He accepted it but just stared at the water "Please James you need..." James overwhelmed Thomas by kissing him the glass dropped from his hand and shattered on the floor the water running in every which direction while James pulled Thomas into his arms. Thomas felt the heat of James's palms on his cheeks and the warmth of his body beckoning him.

　

Thomas returned James's affections by cupping his bearded face he opened his eyes just for a moment to see if this were real and the moment he did James opened his. They stopped and pressed their foreheads against one another but neither could speak even though words hung in their hearts that needed to be spoken but it was just a comfort to be so close for both of them.

　

A half hour later James had passed out again but this time Thomas's arms. He hoped James would be out of the woods soon there were so many questions he'd have to answer but it felt like a tremendous burden had been lifted from Thomas's shoulders even with the worry for James's health and safety he knew that James felt the same about him. "Please wake up soon" Thomas whispered planting a soft kiss on the top of James's head.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a while to get this chapter finished and up but I lost electricity for three days so my laptop was dead until the power was restored. But this chapter is extra spicy ;)

Thomas awoke alone in the bed the next morning "James?" he felt the other side of the bed for him but he wasn't there. He sat up and when his senses began coming to him he could smell something delicious cooking. It had been a couple days since Thomas had a decent meal and he wanted badly to see James's skills in the kitchen. He laughed to himself imagining James cooking in nothing but an apron he shuffled the covers quickly heading like a giddy child at Christmas to the kitchen.

　

"I never would have guessed you cooked" Thomas said leaning against the wall entering into the kitchen. James looked back from the stove "Yeah my grandmother taught me how to cook a proper English breakfast and I thought you could use the nutrition after all you've been through with me. It's the least I can do" he said flipping the eggs over then onto the plate.

　

Thomas could see there was a tray "You were going to serve me breakfast in bed?"

　

"Don't go to pieces on me Hamilton I just wanted to do something lovely for you"

　

His gesture made Thomas grin widely "This is the loveliest thing anyone has ever done for me" James presented him with the tray complete with a single red rose in a vase "Well if you will go at least to the couch I will serve you" James nodded for him to head to the living room. He laid down on the couch and James set the tray over his lap.

　

"Thank you this looks delicious. How did you sleep last night?" Thomas asked poking his forking into the eggs until the yolk ran.

　

"Pretty decently it's out of my system fully now. I'm regaining memory that I had lost throughout the past few days. I have thought several times of calling Miranda and apologizing but I don't know what to say. She doesn't know about my little habit" James said picking up his coffee mug from the table in front of them.

　

"Do you mind if I ask you questions about it?" Thomas felt his stomach tighten up he hoped not to rebuff James but he was curious as to what dark event let him down the spiral to drugs.

　

"Sure" James said quietly he knew there was going to be questions there was no telling the man that saved his damn life that he didn't have the right to know anything. And upon looking at Thomas with such concern and care in his eyes he hoped to never lash out at him again.

　

"How long have you been abusing?"

　

James looked Thomas sadly he never thought of what he did as abuse, he likened it to the opposite of abuse. Abuse was something ugly and horrific something cocaine never made James feel unless he went too long without it. His fingers traced the handle of his cup like a gun's trigger as he processed the word abuse in association with cocaine. "I don't think I'm an abuser, it's a habit" he decided he wasn't going to allow that word to be used in the same conversation as himself and drugs.

　

"Okay well how long have you had your habit?" Thomas rephrased the last thing he wanted to do was make James feel ashamed it would only make him withdraw from him and he had already managed to do damages, he couldn't incur more.

　

"I was about twenty five when it began it was right after my grandfather passed away. I saw my father again at his funeral and of course he was criticizing me, we got into a fist fight which I'm rather ashamed of that was not the place for that. But dammit I had earned my right to fight him back after everything he said and did to me but a girl I was seeing at the time introduced me to it. I took to it instantly because it made me forget everything but back then I was just starting out in my career so I had to gain control over it so I wouldn't get sloppy. Funny enough with the help of coke and alcohol I function better" he laughed a little but Thomas didn't find anything amusing.

　

"When did you lose control of it?" he asked softly sobering James up he sighed, "The thing you have to understand about my habit is it started out like a puppy. Playful and always greeted me warmly but then over time it grew until it was a beast that demanded to be satisfied. And I've had times in my life where I've nearly beaten it but it always comes nipping gently as if it were a puppy again just wanting to play a little bit. But that's the deception it's still a beast in a puppy costume." James paused for a moment somberly just staring down at his coffee and the clouds the creamer had created as if he were trying to interpret their meaning.

　

"I've always had my life compartmentalized well until..." he spoke again but refrained from finishing.

　

Thomas closed his eyes and sighed "Until you met me right?" it made perfect sense he provoked feelings and thoughts into James that maybe he had never considered or kept well hidden.

　

"Don't take it like that. If you hadn't then something or someone else would have. Thomas I'm not sorry for any of this. And I know you may not be ready to come out openly but if you'll have me despite my flaws and there are so many. Well, I'm here"

　

He left Thomas speechless "Are you sure?"

　

James looked at him with his turbulent sea blue eyes "To be honest no but I know how I feel when I'm in your arms. It's not how I feel in Miranda's doesn't even come close. I know we'll have to keep this private but I'm willing if you are"

　

Immediately Thomas set the tray aside on the coffee table then turned James's face to his and kissed him suddenly. "I'm willing. God am I willing" he whispered stroking James's cheek with his thumb.

　

"Have you ever done anything like this before?" James asked nervously he had never experienced sex with another man but he hoped Thomas had some experience.

　

"No but I think that's good that we're both inexperienced we can discover this together" Thomas said with a smile then kissed James a few times. He sat James back on the sofa as he continued to give him pecks on the lips, his hand trailed down to the bottom of James's gray t-shirt Thomas lifted the fabric and placed his warm palm on his stomach then rubbed his way up his chest. James closed his eyes and laid his back he hummed with pleasure "This is only the beginning" Thomas whispered making James open his eyes he saw Thomas had a naughty grin on his face.

　

He kissed his lips one more time before he began taking the shirt up to get it off. James held his arms up and helped Thomas remove it "Miranda was right you are very freckled I just want to kiss all of them" he began planting kisses all over James's neck and chest.

　

Thomas licked his tongue across James's nipple making him gasp "You're a sensitive little ginger I see I'm going to enjoy teasing, sucking, tasting and touching you" he vowed while James could feel his hand move down to the top of his jeans. Thomas sucked the nipples while his hand went to work getting the jeans open. He could feel James's rising erection pressing against the material of the jeans he opened them up to reveal his bulge in his dark blue briefs "Mmm that looks even better than breakfast"

　

James raised his hips slightly and pulled his jeans and underwear down until his cock sprang free. He held it in his hand stroking it to full hardness then reached his hand out to stroke Thomas's cheek with the back of his hand but then to the back of his head and pulled Thomas forward "I have been going out of my fucking mind fantasizing about this. Suck me Thomas take my cock"

　

Thomas nodded and accepted the head between his lips he worked his lips around the underside of the head making James slouch down and run his fingers through Thomas's soft blonde locks and at just the right moment he flicked his tongue into the slit making pre-cum trickle out and drop onto his tongue. He felt James shudder "I see you've been talking to Miranda" he licked his lips and leaned back into the sofa.

　

A few more sucks of just the head then Thomas took it fully into his mouth while he had never experienced it personally he had watched a few pornographic videos where men sucked off. He used his finely tuned instincts to figure the rest out to James's satisfaction. James willed himself to watch his fantasy come to life but it was so hard not to collapse with bliss feeling the suction of Thomas's mouth around his cock. His tongue bathing it up and down with every suck "Fuck!" James swore making Thomas smile and almost gag on it.

　

When his blue eyes peered up at James the pinnacle of his fantasy had arrived they looked at one another as Thomas moved on and off faster, sucking harder. James felt it, his cock was ready to explode but he wanted desperately to hold out but Thomas was too damn good. "Thomas I'm close!" he warned Thomas but it made him go down faster until James let out a shout and groan as he felt his cock spurt.

　

When he was finished licking and bathing the cock to cleanliness Thomas laced his fingers into James's and laid his head on James's chest. He could hear James's heart racing and his lungs panting for air it was glorious for Thomas knowing he did this to him. James wrapped his arms around Thomas and planted kisses on top his head. They looked at each other with boyhood innocence and began smiling at each other Thomas went to speak when there was a knock at the door.

　

The tone changed instantly as both began to dread whose presence could've been on the other side of the door. Thomas got up "I'll see who it is since I'm not indisposed" he tried to lighten the vibe while James stood quickly pulling his clothes back up. Thomas peered into the hole then looked back at James with dire concern "Who is it?"

　

His face broke into laughter "Miranda"

　

"You bugger!" James shook his head relieved. Thomas opened the door "I tried calling both of you I was getting very worried" there was an agony in her voice that James felt shame for putting in her.

　

Thomas moved aside to let her in she stood in front of James watching him snap his pants back up she then looked back at Thomas who stood with reddened cheeks "Miranda, I'm sorry for everything" James apologized but couldn't bring himself to look at her.

　

The air was charged sexually and she began succumbing to it's energy she walked over to James wrapping her arms around his neck "It's alright I know you didn't mean it but I'm glad you two have made amends" he looked up at her to see the lust burning in her brown eyes. James looked from her to Thomas "How about we make up now? I'll eat your pussy while you suck Thomas's cock?" James whispered crudely into Miranda's ear "Or I can watch him fuck you" she sighed closing her eyes "I'd like that a lot" they heard her both whisper.

　

　

 


	17. Chapter 17

While meeting at Peter Ashe's home to discuss the upcoming launch party it was hard for James to keep focused. He kept eyeing Thomas hungrily but much to his dismay Thomas was 'on' in Peter's presence. They were discussing the internet ads with Miranda when Thomas felt James's foot rub up against his leg. He grew uncomfortable and stomped his shoe down on James's foot "Fuck" he mouthed giving him a pained look.

　

Thomas scooted away from him "The sun is in my eyes" he explained to Peter when he gave him a strange glance. He seemed to accept the lie and they went back to business without Thomas making any further eye contact with James. "Excuse me" Thomas said getting up leaving the room. James tapped the table a little bit he was dying to get up and chase after him "Peter do you mind if I go help myself to glass of water?" he said picking up his empty cup it was the perfect excuse.

　

"Well if you'd like I can have my staff..." but before he could say anymore James was off and running. Peter looked back at him dashing off then to the end of the table to see the glass still sitting there.

　

When Thomas opened the bathroom door James was standing in the doorway waiting for him. He pushed him back inside and shut the door behind him "What are you doing? We agreed this was to be kept private" Thomas said in a harsh whisper.

　

"Come now love this is the best part of a secret breaking all the rules hoping not to get caught" James tried to unbutton his shirt. Thomas seized his hands "Stop it James! You know I'm not comfortable with this not here"

　

"I will bend you over that sink Hamilton and spank your ass while I **fuck** it" James said jerking his hands out Thomas's then grabbing his belt.

　

Thomas was very aroused by James's lewd words but he couldn't afford to lose control "Stop it please. We have tonight to let loose I promise" he held James's hands once more but pulled him closer pressing his forehead against James.

　

"I can't help how badly I want you. How much I fucking cannot control my desires. You smell so damn good and you left so early this morning I didn't get my morning fix" James said looking at him then pressed his lips to his chin then brushed against his bottom lip slightly.

　

Thomas pushed James into the door and assaulted him with his lips. They began to tangle their fingers into one another's hair when Thomas stopped them "I'll stay longer in the morning but we better get back out there."

　

When they re-entered the room Peter and Miranda were silent with Peter eyeing both of them. After the meeting was over Peter requested to speak with James alone he presented James with his empty glass he looked at Peter puzzled "You forgot that when you wanted some water"

　

"Oh well I realized that when I got to the kitchen so I just got another one from the cabinet" James said setting back down on the table. He went to go but Peter picked the glass back up "Which cabinet did you get it from?" he questioned.

　

James began to feel hot on the back of his neck and his cheeks "Shit Peter there are so many cabinets in there I don't hardly remember"

　

"Well James that's odd because we don't keep the cups in the kitchen. They are kept in a cupboard with the many assortment of glasses and cups. You weren't in my kitchen but if I had to venture a guess of where you actually were I'd say it was the bathroom."

　

"Okay you caught me I had to piss is that a crime? Didn't realize it needed announcing" the more Peter poked around the redder James's face got.

　

"Then why the clever ruse of the glass of water? I have a capable staff..."

　

"I'm sorry but I didn't see you interrogating Thomas about his wherabouts" James interrupted feeling his anger boiling to the surface.

　

"That is because he didn't lie to me. He left the room first and then you used your poor excuse to follow him. I find that to be particularly odd."

　

"Do you now? Perhaps maybe I had some business to discuss with Thomas that doesn't concern you" James turned to stare him down.

　

"I have known Thomas his entire life and I know things that others would never suspect about him..."

　

"So help me if you..."

　

"Relax James, I would never out Thomas to his father or anyone else but you should practice how to be more discreet. You scented him like an old hound on a fox hunt. Next time remember your glass" Peter said flipping the cup in his hands then setting it down on the table "Have a good afternoon James, you can show yourself out."

　

James stared at the glass for a few minutes breathless and stunned. He was afraid to tell Thomas that someone else besides Miranda and his uncle had figured him out, he was terrified it would make Thomas recoil and pull away from him.

**

　

Thomas of course didn't take the news very well "James this is what I was talking about! We have to be careful!" he raised his voice then sat down on James's sofa rubbing his temples.

　

"Look he said he wouldn't out you so there's that. Besides I thought Peter was more your friend than your father's?"

　

"He is but..."

　

"But what? Thomas are we going to go through this every fucking day? It's been a month. Not that I haven't enjoyed our time but what are we doing? What are we working towards?"

　

"You knew this was to be kept private, you yourself said that you understood and were willing. I'm sorry I'm not ready to be an out gay man but while we're on the subject I'm not entirely sure I'm completely done with women." Thomas confessed stunning James.

　

"Well, that's certainly the cherry on top of this fucking cake. You and I are sharing Miranda what more do you want?"

　

"Damn you and your fiery jealousy! It's not like I said I was seeing other men"

　

"Have you been seeing other women?" James was growing increasingly defensive. Thomas kept silent "Thomas?!?"

　

Thomas looked at James squarely "Yes, it's just a few fuck friends. I got on well with these women it's no big deal"

　

"Do you honestly have that much insecurity that you need to be surrounded with a bevvy of women? Still working out those mommy issues?" James flew off the handle.

　

"I beg your pardon? And what do you think you're doing when you're fucking me? Working out those daddy issues?!?" Thomas rose from his seat and instantly regretted the words that flew out of his mouth in haste.

　

He almost expected it but still wasn't prepared for when James slapped him across the face he held his stinging cheek "That's right get all fired up"

　

"How dare you?!? After everything I shared with you, and why is it you believe you want a man Thomas? I'll tell you why..."

　

"No! James don't you dare say it! I will leave and never return!" Thomas forewarned him.

　

"...you need some man to love you because your daddy sure the fuck doesn't" he dared and it sent a knife through Thomas's heart.

　

He nodded his head then walked towards the door "Well, I guess I got what I deserved for poking at you. Goodbye James, Peter and I will take everything from here. You're fired."

　

James felt guilt wash over him the second Thomas was out the door. It was a few minutes until it fully connected and James rushed out the door but Thomas was long gone. "Fuck!" he shouted at the top of his lungs punching the wall next to his apartment until it caved.

　

The anger passed and his sadness replaced it he began to weep it was then a familiar itch began pressing him. James then remembered the cocaine that Thomas had purchased was locked up in his safe but he'd be blowing more than twenty days clean. James went back into his apartment and to the closet he stood with the safe door wide open and the bag sitting there staring at him. Everything in him told him to do it but he remembered how Thomas poured his heart out nurturing him to being clean. His hand shook as he grabbed the bag out he held it up to look at it.

　

"You're not in control of me anymore! I beat you and I'm going to prove it" he went straight into the bathroom he lifted the toilet lid then opened it up dumping the contents into the bowl then flushed it down. He dropped the bag in the trash then went to his bed where he crashed his phone buzzed on the nightstand but he just let it go to voicemail. James curled up in a ball hugging the pillow Thomas once slept on he had another addiction to fight.

 


	18. Chapter 18

James clutched the invitation firmly nearly bending it inside the envelope he wondered why he was even invited, considering two weeks before Thomas fired him and broke up with him in one breath. He thought it was a mistake but Miranda encouraged him to come as she wouldn't be in attendance since the public split of she and Thomas's sham relationship happened. And it was evident when James saw Thomas at the bar being surrounded by women who were simply sympathetic to him, it made him nauseous.

　

"James so glad you could make it" Peter greeted him he then knew it wasn't Thomas wasn't the one who invited him. Thomas heard James's name he glanced at him knocking back a drink his look was casual and cold but a trite daring. It was as if Thomas were dangling himself in front of James but he didn't come here to play mind games instead he boldly strutted up to the bar "What'll you have sir?" the bartender asked. Thomas traced his index finger around the rim of his glass right next to James waiting for him to speak "Whiskey sour" Thomas mouthed along with James it was the drink he ordered when they first met.

　

"Tried and true you are" Thomas tried to crack the chill, James ignored him taking his drink then facing the party "Yeah I guess you could say I find comfort in familiarity. I don't need new tastes to excite me or keep me happy" James said briskly then walked away. "Well played McGraw" Thomas said behind his back lifting his fresh drink up in salute.

　

Thomas stalked James throughout the evening while entertaining models and actresses who were eager to get Thomas alone but he couldn't keep his eyes off of the man that captivated him enough to give into his forbidden desires. His jeans seemed to be too tight but he paired it well with a form fitting t-shirt and sport jacket. Thomas felt his cock stirring as he envisioned his fingers tangled up in James's slicked back hair and the feeling of his scruff as he sucked Thomas's cock. "Thomas?" he snapped back to attention as the girl he was chatting with kept saying his name "Yes, I'm sorry I am a bit distracted."

　

"It's alright I can understand to be engaged and to find out she was seeing someone else. I'll bet I can make you forget about her" she pressed herself against Thomas putting her lips to the underside of his chin "Mmm I love you with facial hair it makes you look like a wild man" she whispered trying to get into his shirt but his eyes wouldn't leave James nor would his thoughts. The blonde was a bit put off when Thomas moved her aside and left her standing he had to go James was on the move to the men's room.

　

He hung back as a man exited as James entered they spoke politely Thomas obscured himself he was having doubts but it was his doubts that ruined the whole damn thing. It was now or never to Thomas even though he feared rejection and he couldn't blame James for telling him to go fuck himself but he had to know. He burned for his lover, Thomas rushed down to the restroom door and started pounding on it "Hold on a bloody second!" he heard James yell but Thomas kept banging until James ripped the door open.

　

Thomas froze for a brief second "Yeah what the fuck do you want?" James growled at him but he could see the look of want in his eyes. "I'm sorry" Thomas apologized then charged into James's arms pushing him back into the bathroom.

　

When the door was secured Thomas turned back to James grabbing him by his shirt collar "I'm going to bend you over that sink and spank you while I fuck your tight ass" Thomas whispered grinding his hips against James until their cocks were in close contact. He trailed his hand down James's body until he grabbed a handful of his clothed ass cheek "This is all mine and I don't care who finds out."

　

James's brain was startled but his body knew exactly how to respond and that was to allow his cock to do all the thinking for him. Thomas's aggression was a sexy surprise as James usually took the lead in every relationship but what made James happiest was Thomas was finally ready to stop hiding. He smiled at Thomas "What?"

　

"You look good with a beard I can't wait to feel it all over my cock and balls" he raised his eyebrows making Thomas laugh "Is that so?"

　

"Yeah it is" James said taking off his sport coat then his shirt "You have the body of a god" Thomas commented following suit.

　

"Yeah I'm a real freckly ginger god" James chuckled removing his pants.

　

"Ares, god of war you're a perfect match" Thomas said pulling James in for a kiss but James resisted, teasing him.

　

"And which one would you be? Adonis?"

　

"Adonis was the mortal lover of Aphrodite he was not a god James your rusty on your Greek mythology" Thomas tried again to get a hold of James but he toyed with his lover once more.

　

"I know he was a mortal but he was said to be so handsome and that's you. You make women want to fight over you and I know you could have any man of your choice even if he hadn't given men a second thought sexually..." James was shushed by Thomas as he enclosed his arms around him.

　

"Yes, but Zeus declared Adonis would spend one third of the year in the Underworld with Persephone, one third of the year with Aphrodite and the third final year with whomever he chose"

　

"What does that have to do with us? I'm neither Persephone nor Aphrodite"

　

Thomas stroked James's cheek "Well as I see it I have spent one third of my life with women likened to Persephone, one third with women like Aphrodite but this last third of my life I want to choose and I choose you" it was a head rush when Thomas's lips met James's.

　

There they stood naked in the bathroom of the Ashe summer home tangled up in one another's arms. Thomas grabbed both sides of James's ass gripping his fair flesh roughly, it was time. He spun James around to the sink making him grab both sides as Thomas bent James's hips so his ass tucked out "I won't do this how you prefer it I'll be a nice lad and slick you up first" James hung his head with a huge smile on his face he was very guilty of going in dry.

　

"Hey dry builds character" he joked when Thomas cracked the side of his ass with his palm "Keep it up smart ass" he parted James's cheeks then spit down the crack. His saliva trickled down to his puckered hole, Thomas took the head of his cock swirling the juice then pushing inward but only a little. James gasped "Fuck are you sure you lubed me up? Or are you just big?"

　

"You want me to get rough with you don't you?"

　

"What gave you that idea darling?" he could see James winking in the mirror. Thomas gripped his hips then began thrusting hard and fast. Every time his cock was inserted it would get closer and closer to James's sacred spot "Go deeper!" James demanded he needed that itch scratched. He laid with his chest over the sink so Thomas could get better reach, Thomas put his one leg up on the toilet then spit again all over his cock using his palm to spread it then shoved his cock back into James.

　

"Ohhhh!" that was the magic combination it took for Thomas's cock to reach the spot but it still wasn't enough for James he stood up "What's the matter?" Thomas asked wrapping himself around James from behind kissing his neck "I want to sit on your lap so I get exactly what I fucking want"

　

Thomas put the lid of the toilet down then sat it was cold making James crack a smile "You're lucky it didn't put a damper on my erection now come here so I can cum inside you" he welcomed James onto his lap sliding down easily onto his cock, the perfect fit. Both men were breaking out into a sweat as James leaned back into Thomas's chest "I love you James" he whispered against James's ear.

　

"I love you too Thomas" he wrapped his arms around James tightly and gasped out as he ejaculated. They sat there stuck together while Thomas finished James's cock off with a handjob "I'll suck you off when you take me home with you" he promised as James spurted his hot seed.

　

"Take you home with me? What kind of man do you think I am Hamilton?" James joked getting up. Thomas laughed "The kind I hope will be able to put up with my idiosyncrasies and habits"

　

"What are you saying?" James asked pulling his shirt over his head. "James, I want us to live together. We certainly cannot in my place it belongs to my father and your apartment is nice but it's more you I want something for us together. You don't have to answer now but please think about it." Thomas said kissing his cheek as he zipped up and exited the bathroom.

　

James just stood looking into the mirror wondering if he were dreaming or did Thomas Hamilton really just ask him to live together.

 


	19. Chapter 19

When Thomas came through the apartment wrapped up in his bath towel he got James's attention "Well, glad you're certainly making yourself at home" he commented with a grin. Thomas opened the fridge and reached for the orange juice and drank straight from the carton it drove James nuts but he couldn't be mad Thomas was rather cute like a teenager sometimes. "How is the apartment hunt going?" Thomas asked bringing the juice with him to the sofa.

　

"Well, your love of classic clashes my love of modern so not so good. Listen I know we both work in London but what would you think of getting a home out in the country? And before you say anything I have figured in the commute but you wouldn't really need to commute as much as I do." James turned the laptop showing him a country estate.

　

"I had a feeling deep down you were a country boy. It's lovely darling but did you happen to see the price tag? The only way we could swing that is if we convince Miranda to move in with us and she's a city girl"

　

James sighed shutting his laptop "I'm tired of the search already why can't you move in here again?" he crossed his arms glancing over at Thomas.

　

"Your apartment is all you. I would feel like there is no part of me here just me. I'm very fond of decorating and putting little touches but don't give up James we'll find our haven" he pulled James into his arms and kissed his temple while squeezing him.

　

"Were you serious about asking Miranda to move in with us?"

　

"I don't know she is still apart of this but I have something I wanted to talk to you about. I'm ready to tell my father"

　

James looked at him anxiously "Are you serious? You're going to tell him??"

　

"Well, unless you don't want me to I will respect your wishes"

　

"No, I just didn't know if you were going to I mean after what you told me about how he treats your uncle I don't want to imagine him treating you that way, I'd kick his teeth in"

　

Thomas loved how protective James became he held him tighter in his grasp "There, there cool down darling I'm not worried about it. I can still see Uncle Everett whenever I want but I wouldn't have to endure those stuffy vacations or holidays. We can start our own traditions and maybe someday we could either adopt children or have them with Miranda" the excitement in Thomas's voice was unmistakable. James could hear his heart speed up as he discussed future possibilities.

　

"Children? You want children?" James had never really thought about having them considering how everything went in his own childhood, he feared he had nothing to offer a child. But looking at Thomas's eyes bright with hope he may have needed to re-evaluate his stance.

　

"Yes, I have always hoped to have a son of my own someday. If given the chance I'd be the father to my son that I needed as boy. Do you not want kids?"

　

"Well, to be honest I never gave it much thought actually. I didn't want to have children and disappoint them with how much I fucking suck."

　

Thomas held his chin tightly and made him look at him "James do not ever say that about yourself in my presence again! You do not suck as a man, as a lover and certainly never will as a father. Remember you are not your father, your grandfather taught you how to be a man not him. Understand?"

　

James was almost in tears but he nodded Thomas lightened his grip then kissed his lips "When are you going to break the old man's heart?" he asked laying into Thomas's bare arms against his damp chest. He stifled a laugh "Tonight when I have dinner with him. He wants to discuss my success and probably the failed engagement, by the way I'm sorry about that entire thing I just panicked"

　

"I forgive you just don't go getting engaged to anyone else or I might not be so understanding the second time around" he teased moving his beard around in circle on Thomas's chest kissing in spots.

　

"Don't worry the next person I ask to marry me will be you"

　

"Hamilton, either you're trying to make me cry or you want me to suck your cock so just go on and tell me which it is" James joked.

　

"Neither I'm serious but a blowjob sounds fantastic love but unfortunately I have to get dressed so I can leave soon"

　

They shared a few more kisses before Thomas got up "Will you be coming back tonight?" James always had a touch of insecurity every time Thomas would depart from him that he wouldn't be returning.

　

"Of course my love. I'm hoping it won't be terribly long not especially after I give him the news perfect birthday gift if you ask me" Thomas chuckled winking at James and heading down the hall to the bedroom.

**

　

Alfred was waiting impatiently when Thomas arrived he had one of the maids in tears "Father! Stop yelling I'm here now. Here, you poor girl" Thomas helped her pick up the random items she had dropped "Oh for heaven's sake stop babying my staff! You're ten minutes late but then again I should have expected that!"

　

"Father, I have a life other than being your son and I'm not babying the staff but I do believe in treating them well and with respect. You'd do wise to try it some time" Thomas turned to him.

　

Alfred sneered then took his seat at the long table Thomas walked to the opposite end as soon as sat down his father's gaze was upon him "Are we playing the game where I have to guess why you're giving me that look? What could it possibly mean?"

　

"I see your little venture with Peter is going exceptionally well. My congratulations, but a pity about the Barlow whore but I must say I applaud her acting skills. I do hope you wrote her a recommendation for her next project considering she gave a very convincing performance. I was most certainly fooled and entertained."

　

Thomas nervously took a sip of his wine "Who told you?"

　

"Matters not" his father dismissed the subject of his source. Alfred always had a way of finding out what Thomas was up to even away at boarding school in the privacy of his own quarters he knew the first time Thomas smoked a cigarette, had his first drink and first bowl of marijuana. The man had his eyes and ears everywhere.

　

"I only did it for my business venture and to save my image. I know I have done a lot over the years to damage and tarnish our family's name but I am done with that. I just wanted to be taken seriously and now I am." Thomas didn't know why but he still felt like a young boy wanting his father's approval. Wanting that pat on the back and to hear him say how proud he is to have him for a son.

　

But when his father's demeanor turned icy he knew it was never going to happen "So you claim. I do believe it was to protect your image yes, but it had nothing to do with business. Thomas, do you recall Everett's old girlfriend Elizabeth?"

　

Thomas's cheeks grew warm and his heart began thumping faster "I suppose I do"

　

"Well, you should considering you plowed her when you were just sixteen. That's when we all found out with the exception of your grandfather that Everett was homosexual" the way his lip curled with disgust as he said the word homosexual.

　

The old bastard knew about Thomas's secret but how long? Thomas began to sweat and his cheeks were on fire "Why are we even talking about her or Uncle Everett?" he didn't know why he even spoke he just wanted to leave but felt stuck to the chair, frozen in place.

　

"She was what is referred to as a beard, yes I may not be part of that crowd but I am hip to the slang and terminology. Miranda Barlow was **your** beard wasn't she?"

　

This wasn't supposed to be how it was going to go, Thomas was going to get to tear his father down and stand up for himself finally but his father entrapped him and was slowly chipping away at him. "Fffather I..I can explain"

　

"Explain? Explain how you've been living in sin with that wretched publicist that I hired no less. Yes, Thomas I know all about your sins my only bit of a gratitude is that you haven't had him in my home but I know you've been sleeping over at his apartment and sharing that filthy slut of his whom pretended so well to be the love of your life."

　

Tears were forming and as much as Thomas wanted to fight them he couldn't muster the strength "What'd you want from me?"

　

"Admit it! Confess your sins to me!" Alfred snapped loudly making the server stand still like a deer in headlights with the dinner.

　

Thomas nodded towards them to address their presence hoping it would cease but his father didn't care who was listening "I'm waiting Thomas"

　

"Fine, you want the truth? You want a confession then yes, I have been with a man sexually. I do not however consider myself completely gay but bi-sexual with leanings more towards men. Miranda has been nothing but kind and understanding..." his voice began cracking.

　

"You **disgust** me. Is it not bad enough I have a brother who suffers from that sickness? But my own son, I didn't raise you like that"

　

Thomas began laughing through his tears and pain "You didn't raise me at all. Mum did most of it and when she fell ill the various nannies and boarding schools raised me. You were an awful father, absolutely horrid in every way"

　

"Oh I was so terrible to you Thomas wasn't I? You had the best of everything life had to offer. Attended the finest schools and enjoyed privileges that no other children got. Life must been one hell of a burden for you"

　

"Having children is more than just supporting them financially father! What about love and affection? What about mental and emotional support? Unconditional acceptance of who they are and being responsible for how they love themselves?"

　

Thomas wept while Alfred sneered at him the staff uncomfortably served them both then fled as quickly as they could. "Quit crying like a woman. Your mother over indulged you as an infant you were her most beloved but she deserved to get ill as she did"

　

He glared at his father with hatred burning in his eyes "What the fuck did you just say about my mother?"

　

"There was a time before you were born and your mother confessed that she had an affair says that I was too cold and frigid for her. This fellow was a creative sort a grifter who wrote poetry and painted or something like that. He was giving her art lessons and well she buffed more than his marble is all I'll say. And when she told me she was pregnant with you I spent the entire time hating her because I didn't know if you were my child or not. Well, the DNA test proved you were but with this revelation I wish you were his son not mine."

　

It all made sense about why his father never allowed him to pursue art and he began laughing again "You wouldn't allow me to own a sketch pad or crayons because of him? Oh fuck" Thomas sipped his wine.

　

"Laugh it up but know this you will not come out of that closet. And I am going to find you a suitable woman for you to marry and you **will** marry her Thomas. I have several contact numbers for therapists who specialize in rehabilitation..."

　

"Are you fucking mental? You really believe you're going to send me to a therapist and 'rehabilitate' me?? That is absurd father! I am not going to marry any woman, ever. I am going to move in with James and we are going to build a life together and I do not give a rat's ass if you are apart of that life or not! Shun me you've practically done it my entire existence and thanks to your story I now know it started when I was in the womb. Keep your fucking money, take the house, the cars and all the luxury. Because I'd rather be a working class cock sucker than your son!" Thomas stood from the table throwing his napkin onto the plate and headed for the doors.

　

"You won't last a day in the working world. You've always had everything handed to you and when it's all said and done, your little excursion into gay sex will come to an end but I won't take you back. I am disowning you and disinheriting you Thomas" his father had to have the final word but Thomas spun on his heels.

　

"Oh that's the worst you have? Well I guess I'm not fit to be a Hamilton which is fine with me I'll just use mum's maiden name at least if she were still alive she'd be supportive"

　

Alfred rolled his eyes "Why couldn't it have been you instead of her? You almost didn't make it at birth to be honest I was relieved when they said that you wouldn't survive but disappointed the moment you did. Give it a few years and HIV might just wipe you out."

　

Thomas felt his heart be crushed "You are a cruel and bitter man. I hope you laying dying in your bed and the staff near but refuse to help you. I will dance on your grave you piece of shit" he ripped the dining room doors open and stormed out of the house and his father's life.

 


	20. Chapter 20

Thomas paced in the foyer of his house he was waiting for an old friend of his. He felt guilty because he promised James he would be home that night but after the square off against his father he was on edge and needed something to steady his nerves. Finally the doorbell rang he went straight to the door without hesitation "Hey mate" a broad shouldered brunette wearing a stocking cap and flannel shirt with jeans was standing at his door with a smile.

　

"Travis thanks for coming on such short notice, I know you require twelve hours notice..."

　

"Thomas calm down mate what's going on? Is your friend off his uh 'meds' again?" Travis entered in behind Thomas he could tell by his tone it was a serious.

　

"No, this is for me but I don't know what quite to buy. I'm on edge right now and I just need something to sooth me" Thomas almost collapsed under the weight of the pressure and hurt he was suffering.

　

"Okay well I can already be blunt and tell you coke will not help, it'll fuck you up in a bad way. What you need is a few tranqs just to get the edge off I have just what you need" Travis set his shoulder bag down and rummaged through it when he pulled out a small bag of five white oblong pills "Meet your new friend Stilnoct it's a hypnotic and will put you to bed so I hope you weren't planning a boozy night out because two of these babies and you'll be out cold until sometime tomorrow"

　

"How much?" Thomas reached for the bag when Travis yanked it back "First lets be clear only take two any more than that it could slow your heart until you die"

　

"I have the money and I'm not a fucking baby so give me the pills. That is how a drug deal works right? Didn't know you were pharmacists as well" Thomas took out his wallet.

　

"Jesus mate who pissed in your Cheerios?" he took the money Thomas offered but didn't tell him he over paid he just smiled and handed him the pills then let himself out.

　

Thomas opened the bag and fished out two pills then poured himself a glass of Scotch. He swallowed them down then poured himself more alcohol. Tonight he was going to drown his sorrows and then tomorrow find a way to live again.

**

　

James kept his eye on the clock at the bottom right of his computer screen it was almost midnight where was Thomas? He picked up his cell phone and unlocked the screen he hovered his thumb over the dialer but he let out a growl. James struggled to trust Thomas he hated feeling so needy and clingy so he put the phone down and went back to his apartment search.

　

Waiting for Thomas was getting increasingly difficult as James's eyes were getting heavier "Fuck" he swore glancing down at the corner of his screen again it was three thirty he knew Thomas wasn't partying with his father but he lacked a perfect excuse as to why he wasn't home by then. He picked up his phone and scanned through his contacts hitting Miranda's name she was going to be pissed to be woke up but he hoped Thomas had stopped in and possibly fell asleep. "Hello?" her groggy voice broke the line "James it's late this better be important."

　

"It is, Thomas hasn't come home yet, I was hoping he was with you." he waited anxiously for her to say that yes he was in fact there but she didn't "No, I haven't heard much from him recently just a text asking about apartments near me. Where did he go last night?"

　

"His father's house it was his birthday last night and Thomas said he was going to come out to his father. My heart is sinking Miranda and my gut is telling me something is definitely wrong"

　

Miranda had always encouraged James to follow his gut instinct and right now it was going insane worried about Thomas. "Well, it's doubted he stayed the night with his father after revealing such news. Perhaps he went back to his house to decompress, sometimes James people need to be alone for a little bit just to process things and possibly to pack his stuff. Because from what little time I knew Alfred Hamilton I can tell you he probably wants Thomas out of that house as quickly as possible" Miranda tried to calm him but the feeling wouldn't subside even though she made perfect sense.

　

"Well, I'm going over there in case his father is there verbally abusing him"

　

"James, don't go over there looking for a fight..." but he had hung up on her before she could complete her sentence. He was not going to be deterred if Alfred Hamilton wanted to bash someone it was going to be him, he was used to it after all.

　

He raced over to Thomas's house after nearly getting into a scrimage with two other drivers because of his impatience with how slow they were driving. James could tell they were drunk and just trying not to arouse police supsicion but he was dealing with a true emergency. The house was dark when James pulled up but Thomas's car sat in the driveway, Miranda may have been right that Thomas just needed space. James sat in the car for a few more moments when that gut feeling got stronger he hopped out of the car leaving the driver's side door ajar and ran to the door banging relentlessly. "Thomas?!?" he called banging harder until his knuckles were bright red but he didn't seem to notice how they burned.

　

James realized he was panicked that he actually forgot to try the door knob, he rolled his eyes at himself then put his hand on it turning it slowly until it didn't stop then he charged into the house "THOMAS?!?" he yelled out turning on every light he could find the switch to hoping to wake him up.

　

He went upstairs after checking the downstairs briefly into Thomas's bedroom the bed was empty "Thomas???" he then saw the bathroom light on and the door slightly askew. James heard the shower going he opened the door fully and the steam billowed out around him "Thomas? Are you in here?" he saw through the mist against the shower door was Thomas's feet his heart sank.

　

James opened the shower door water dribbled out into the tiled floor Thomas laid there "Thomas" he knelt down shaking his leg but he didn't move. He stood up and stepped into the shower and turned the water off then knelt by his head "Thomas wake up" he shook him but still nothing, tears began to blind James he felt around his neck for a pulse. It was slow and he could see Thomas's chest barely rising he fell back against the shower wall and slid down into the water. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed the emergency services number then waited for the operator "I need an ambulance right now, my..my friend his heart is slow and he's barely breathing..." the woman asked James all the proper questions but all he could do was stare at Thomas hoping that they would get there in time.

 


	21. Chapter 21

Everything was a blur from the time the ambulance arrived to the time James somehow managed to drive himself following the ambulance to the hospital. He was told he had to wait and the nurse would be taking information from James. The nurse's lips were moving but James was zoned out it was as if he went deaf.

　

"Sir?" then just like that it was like the wave of sound had washed over him he looked at the blonde nurse waiting with her pen ready to scribble information down "Yes?"

　

"Mr. Hamilton's next of kin?"

　

"Why do you need that? Isn't he going to be okay?" James was falling to pieces and without Thomas there to hold him he wouldn't be able to put himself back together again.

　

"I'm sorry I do not know Mr. Hamilton's current condition but they will do everything they can to save him but we need the name of his next of kin in case decisions need to be made about his health"

　

Alfred Hamilton making decisions about Thomas's life in it's current state simply would not do for James, he had to think for a moment. "Listen I'll call them myself and tell them he's in here"

　

She nodded making a few more notes "The doctor may not want to speak with you about Mr. Hamilton he will want to speak with a blood relative" she re-informed him and he nodded. He took out his phone and proceeded to make a call.

　

There was no in hell Alfred Hamilton was setting foot in that hospital to decide anything concerning Thomas because James knew that he was the reason Thomas ended up there. "Hello?"

　

"Peter, it's Thomas he's done something horrible to himself. I need you to come here to the hospital and pretend to be his brother. I'd call his Uncle Everett but I don't know his number and I sure the fuck do not want his father here."

　

"Okay, I'm on my way"

　

James tilted his head back with relief Peter would do what was best for Thomas in accordance with Thomas's wishes. He wanted to call Miranda but he feared that telling her about Thomas would mean he'd have to mention his former issue so he put it away in his pocket.

　

Twenty minutes later Peter rounded the corner and into the small waiting area where James sat tapping his leg impatiently "James what happened?"

　

James stood to brief Peter when behind him came the most awful sight Alfred Hamilton in the flesh "Yes, do tell us what have you done to my son?"

　

"Why the **fuck** did you call him?!? He is the last mother fucker Thomas would want here!" James raved waving his hand out as he yelled towards him.

　

"I had no choice, Alfred is Thomas's father. He's his only son and I know they disagree on things currently but he has a right to be here" Peter tried to be calm and ease the tension in the room. But all James could see was the guilt written all over his face "Don't just stand there you buffoon what happened to my boy?" Alfred intervened sharply before James could say another word to Peter.

　

"I found him in his shower on the floor his heart was slowing down I don't know what the cause was" James answered but kept his eyes on Peter who was back out of the room trying to escape him but James wouldn't allow him to get too far.

　

"I'm sure I know the cause and that's you! You filled my son with confusion chasing him around Peter's home trying to get into his bottom like a sick fuck! Then having your way with him at a private party in a bathroom no less, disgusting. Not to mention everything he's probably been into at your apartment. Do you give him drugs?"

　

James just stood there in shock Thomas certainly would have never told Alfred all of that his eyes narrowed and his brow furrowed as he looked at Peter who was inching away "You sorry son of a bitch! You said you would never out Thomas, you bastard!"

　

"I would have found out eventually now answer the question. Did you give my son drugs?!?"

　

"NO! I would never give Thomas drugs..."

　

"But he bought them for you didn't he?" Alfred interjected.

　

"...how did you even..."

　

"I know everything my son is into, and the moment I knew you could not be trusted to keep watch on him I hired a private detective to follow him. After all that was your suggestion wasn't it? You said it to Edward Saxton..."

　

"Jesus fuck! That back stabbing asshole! Look I'm clean now Thomas helped me get cleaned up and as far as I know Thomas isn't into drugs at all"

　

Alfred came as close as he could to James "Here's how this is going to go you are going to leave this hospital and my son's life. Effective immediately my good friend Edward is going to fire you and everything you built professionally is over. You will take your severance which I padded nicely and you will leave London because lets face it you will never work in this city again. No one wants a coke addict with an alcohol problem working for them. You are to never speak to or see my son again"

　

"And if I refuse?" James was prepared for anything Alfred would throw at him, he would be dammed before he'd leave Thomas behind. "Well, then I shall press charges against you for attempted murder of my son. You were after all the one who found him and you are the one with the drug problem...."

　

"Bull shit! No one will believe you and Thomas will recant when he comes around"

　

" **If** he comes around you mean but by then you could be beaten to death in a men's prison. I have money and influence James don't fuck with me. I will take care of my son get him the best doctors and therapists money can buy and you can start all over. Maybe you should ask Miranda Barlow to accompany you out of the city."

　

Hot tears fell from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks as he gritted his teeth, his nostrils flared and his fist clenched tight he wanted to thrash Alfred but knew if he did he'd end up in jail and everything Alfred promised would come true. "I am staying long enough to make sure he makes it"

　

"Very well but then you will get the hell away from my son. No goodbyes and no contact is that understood? I will **destroy** you McGraw I already have professionally don't make it come to your life"

　

"I understand" James seethed with rage he walked past Alfred and stormed off to find Peter. He was outside on his phone talking to his daughter when James came up behind him and tackled him to the ground. The phone flew from his hand across the parking lot James flipped him over in a rage and began pummeling him with his right fist "WHY DID YOU DO IT?!? WHY DID YOU BETRAY HIM?!?" he screamed like a mad man as his knuckles bashed against Peter's face.

　

He'd punch him then back hand him with the back of his fist then lifted him by his collar and slammed him back down on the pavement "I hope it was worth it! I should kill you!!!" James shouted in his face.

　

Peter's nose ran with blood and felt loose teeth swishing around in his mouth along with the blood when James let up he turned his head and spit it all out. James got off of him crying and heaving "Thomas is my friend! I had to look out for him and even if his father approved of his sexual preference he would never want you for Thomas anyways. James you are not a good man, you are a black hole and you were only bringing Thomas down with you. I didn't care for your company the moment we were introduced. If you love him James let him go"

　

James's face twitched in anger he suddenly charged Peter and kicked him back down to the pavement "Fuck you Peter. Thomas is going to come out of this and when he does he's going to take you down oh how I wish I could be here to see it!"

**

　

Back at his apartment he crashed into his bed and bawled he got to stay long enough to hear that Thomas had accidentally overdosed and sustained head trauma in the shower. He was being placed in a medically induced coma so his brain would heal. It tore James apart that he wouldn't be the first face Thomas would see when he woke up but the doctor gave no guarantee that Thomas would have any memory at all when he came to.

　

The sun was rising as James clutched Thomas's pillow and took in the woodsy scent of his cologne and he recalled Thomas's voice from when he was laying ill in his arms _"James, you have to stay with me. I don't want to be alone anymore, I know all those women and all my friends but I have always been so lonely."_

　

He rolled over to face away from Thomas's side of the bed was he really going to let Alfred Hamilton kick him out of London? Keep him away from Thomas? He had no illusions that Alfred wouldn't follow through on his plans but it was more Peter's words that haunted him the most.

　

Everything he ever feared about himself Peter exposed and left him feeling raw, Thomas did deserve so much better. Loud knocking broke him of his self loathing he got up and slowly approached the door did Alfred call the police? But he was relieved when he looked through the glass to see Miranda.

　

"James! What happened to Thomas?? It's all over the internet that he tried to kill himself?" she was frantic James pulled her inside.

　

"No, he took some pills downing them with alcohol then slipped in his shower. He's going to make it"

　

"Then why do you seem so upset? Drugs? I don't understand Thomas wasn't into drugs was he?"

　

It was time for James to come clean with Miranda and he knew after she heard it all she'd never want to see him again. He took a deep breath "Miranda, there's something I need to tell you that I should have and afterwards if you want to slap me and walk out of my life that's alright I won't blame you"

　

"James, there is nothing you cannot tell me you have to know that by now" she reassured him.

　

He sat her down on the sofa and told her everything from when he was a boy to more recently when Thomas helped him get clean. Miranda sat there silently processing everything she was struggling finding the proper words. Both the men she loved had so many inner demons that wore them down and hurt them so, her heart ached to hold them both.

　

"James, I'm sorry that you suffered so much as a child. I do not judge either of you for what you've done but what are you going to do now? Alfred Hamilton is a cruel man and he will see you dead before you ever get near Thomas again."

　

"I know. I will never work in London again that's a fact; my career is gone, my reputation ruined. My lover is in a coma and will wake without me. Hamilton is padding my severance with more money suggested I move out of the city. Miranda, I love you still and I want to know if you will come with me but I will understand if you do not want to."

　

Miranda sighed, "No, James I do not want to leave London, my whole life is here. I have already had to start over again once. I just don't think I can do it again. But I love you so much and I don't want you to leave either" she tried to cup his face but he ripped away from her in tears.

　

"Miranda, I cannot do this alone. I need someone to love me, even though I fuck everything I touch up. I just want to be loved"

　

"So stay and fight for Thomas! Don't let that old fuck bully you! Thomas is still the one who gets to decide what happens and when he wakes up even if God forbid he has lost his memory he will fight to get them back and he will fight for you. And if you're not here he will get told lies by his father about you and what happened do you want that? Do you want Thomas to believe you abandoned him?"

　

"Fuck no! But Miranda if I stay he will have me locked up maybe not for that but for something. He has money and strong influence. I have nothing - I can't do anything except maybe kill Alfred Hamilton"

　

"James! That is a horrible thing to say! Please just think it over and I'll think too we'll fight this. Besides where will you go?"

　

James leaned against the wall next to the sofa staring out the window at the busy street below "My grandparent's home in Hampshire is still there. It's not much but it's paid for and I'd be left alone where I couldn't hurt anyone"

　

Miranda exhaled with frustration, "James you didn't do this to Thomas. But you do what you feel is best. Maybe someday you'll have the courage to return and hopefully it won't be too late."

 


	22. Chapter 22

It was a month and a half before the hospital had taken Thomas out of his induced coma. His eyes fluttered to see bright sunshine he smiled it had never looked so beautiful as it did now. He was fixated on the glow painting it's light on his hospital room floor when he heard soft sobbing he turned his head to see Miranda sitting in the chair next to his bed. "Miranda?"

  
Her head raised and her mouth dropped as her cheeks were bathed in fresh tears but only now with joy "Thomas you're alright and you remember"

　

"How long have I been in here?"

　

"Forty five days you had severe head trauma. Do you remember what happened?" she asked reaching for his hand and squeezing it.

　

"Parts of it. I remember taking those pills and drinking, I was in the shower because I was going to take a cold one to sober up. I don't remember much before that. Where's James?"

　

Miranda heaved a heavy sigh as she traced her thumb in circles on the back of Thomas's hand how was she supposed to tell him that his father pushed James out of his life and that he was now living at an unknown address in Hampshire. "James is gone Thomas"

　

Thomas felt his heart skip a beat "Did he overdose?" then he remembered Miranda wasn't aware of James's struggles with addiction "I mean...I..."

　

"He told me everything but no he has remained clean as far as I know. I'm sorry to scare you but he was forced out of London by your father. I don't know where he lives exactly just Hampshire, he asked me to come with him but I couldn't. If he wasn't going to stay behind for you I decided I would"

　

It all came flooding back to Thomas about the horrid dinner with his father where everything unraveled "Son of a bitch" he muttered. "He has threatened James that if he ever contacts you again that he'll have him put away for trying to kill you. James was the one who found you"

　

"He can't do that. Not so long as I am breathing, has James contacted you any since he's left?"

　

"No and his phone is completely cut off. I do not know his grandfather's name or father's name so I couldn't tell you what name to look under. He's gone Thomas and he blames himself for what happened"

　

"It's not his fault and I need him to understand that it's not. I love him Miranda and even if we have to leave England altogether to go far away from my father's influence I will do it. I have calls I can make to help locate him I just need my phone is it here with me?"

　

Miranda gave him another hard look indicating the news would only get worse "Your father has seized everything of yours from your bank account to even your phone. He has locked you out of everything the only thing he is paying for is your hospital bills. Alfred is not going to just roll over Thomas he's trying desperately to get you moved to a facility Scotland that specializes in the rehabilitation of homosexuals. He wants to have you locked up until he is sure you won't go searching for James"

　

Thomas shook his head "Fuck me, I knew he was not of sound mind but he has completely lost his marbles. I'm leaving today I will not give that doctor a chance to tell him I am awake or have me transferred"

　

"Thomas that's not a good idea there could be long term repercussions and where will you go? You have no money and no way to get there"

　

He gave her a sweet look "Okay well you have a way there so where is there?"

　

"My Uncle Everett's home in Essex. If you could just give me a lift to the train station and purchase my ticket to which I will pay you back when I am able, and allow me the use of your phone I can get somewhere safe so I may start my search for James."

　

Miranda wasn't crazy about the idea but if this wasn't what she had remained in London for then what was? "Alright but the moment you get to your Uncle Everett's promise me you will get to a doctor to make sure you are fully in good health"

　

Thomas smiled brightly then leaned forward to hug her "Thank you Miranda you truly are the best girlfriend I have ever had"

　

"Don't you mean pretend girlfriend?" she quipped getting up and going into the wardrobe to gather his clothes. She tossed the bag on the bed then went to the door to keep watch for any medical staff. Thomas felt weak all over as he tried to stand up but ended up stumbling around "Jesus! I can certainly tell that I have been down for a bit"

　

"Yes, your muscles no doubt weakened being unused but are you going to be okay to leave?"

　

"Sure I will I just have to get my bearings" he said sitting back on the bed pulling his underwear and his jeans up then reaching into the bag he pulled out his button up shirt then put his socks on. He staggered over to the wardrobe and took out his shoes "Ready" he wobbled over to Miranda.

　

"What if there is damage..."

　

"Miranda you will not stop me. James needs me and I need him so either you help me get where I need to go or I'll do whatever it takes on my own to do it"

　

She bit her bottom lip nervously "I'm coming with you to Essex I cannot leave you alone on a train God only knows what will happen."

　

He pressed his lips to her forehead "Thank you for being so caring and so accepting. Most women I'm sure would have been horrified and humiliated to lose their boyfriends to another man but you are dignity and grace."

　

"Don't call me dignity and grace until we're in the clear, if we're going we better do it now before the doctors make their rounds or the nurse comes" she said taking his hand and peering out the door both ways.

　

Once the door was opened Miranda and Thomas took off down the hall and racing their way out of the hospital. He was a few more steps closer to James.

 


	23. Chapter 23

It had been a bit disappointing for James when he arrived to his grandparent's house to find it falling apart "You had one job you old fuck and you couldn't even keep the house up?" he cursed to aloud to his father. He took the house after his grandfather's passing and disappeared James assumed he took off with a woman half his age, after all he could be charming when he wanted to; when it was convenient for him it's how he got James's mother.

　

He began repairs to the leaky roof after he got a fire built to keep him warm. James was fine during the days it was spent doing repairs or going into town for supplies it was less time he had to spend with his lonely thoughts. But when the night came and he had to go inside then make his dinner then sit by the fire until he was ready for bed that's when the thoughts hit him.

　

The only way he knew the date or time was when he'd go into town and he'd ask the shop owners. There was no calendar and he did away with his phone. Everything that reminded him of his former life in London was left there. James stripped himself of every last thread that held any memories or feelings from his former existence. He even started going by another surname to further push London out of his head. When James was asked by the service men who came to turn on his electricity what his name was he thought on it briefly before he answered "Flint, my name is James Flint" and it stuck everyone where he shopped knew him and would speak politely but he didn't make friends.

　

Oh there were women interested in the new bachelor in their midst but he pretended not to notice when they would flirt with him. Save for one woman, her name was Lily she had golden blonde hair and bright blue eyes but he knew why he was so fascinated with her, though she female she reminded him of Thomas. They could've passed for siblings and while he had not flirted back with her he did have thoughts of having her over to have her, she hinted that she would enjoy that.

　

After he'd masturbate thinking about plowing Lily his thoughts went straight to Thomas. He had lost track of the time they had been apart and then the questions arose tormenting him _"Why couldn't Thomas had came home that night? I would have talked him down and held him. Why did he have to do it?"_ and then he would wonder if Thomas had woken up yet, if he did was he asking about him? _"You left like a coward you don't get to wonder that! Your absence wasn't missed on him and he probably is moving forward with his life, probably with Miranda"_ and thoughts of her would come to mind as well. He wanted to be furious with her for not coming with him but after all he told her it was alright. Eventually James wore himself down with his restless thoughts and would conk out.

　

Waking up around the break of dawn he saw the fire had went out "Not again, fuck me!" he swore dragging himself up from the sofa and taking a seat on the small stool in front of the fireplace he was going to have to rebuild it. A better part of two hours was spent getting it going again he would have to be more watchful the next time, after getting some meager breakfast he took the list from the refrigerator and hopped into the old work truck he bought. The sky was overcast it looked like snow was coming he wasn't going to get to work long which really bummed him out.

　

When he came into the market he grabbed a basket then began his shopping for the food half of the list. He was startled when Lily popped out from behind a tall display "I so got you" she giggled he pretended to chuckle "Yeah you sure did."

　

"Haven't seen you in a while you been alright?" she asked stocking cans on the display. "Yeah just working on the house, plumbing isn't worth a shit had to replace all the pipes"

　

"I think it's cool how you're so handy. I'll bet your great at other things with those hands" she raised her eyebrows suggestively.

　

It gaves James an idea that he may just regret but at least he would have something to do if he should get snowed in "I'm very handy. In fact you should come over and spend some time with me I'd love to show you just how good I am with these hands" flirting made him feel absolutely disgusted with himself. He knew it wasn't ever going anywhere serious with Lily and he hoped she was just a good time girl because that was all he was offering.

　

"Great, my shift ends at three but I think I can get out of work right now if you were wanting to do something sooner" she winked rubbing her tongue at the corner of her mouth.

　

"Sure that'd be nice. Let me gather some more things and I'll meet you at my truck" he pointed out the windows to the only one in the lot she nodded trotting off to talk to her manager.

　

It only took him twenty minutes to finish shopping but when he came out of the store he couldn't find Lily until he saw strands of golden blonde peeking out above the driver's side door. He pushed the cart to the truck bed and began unloading the bags "Any particular reason you're playing hide and seek?" he commented.

　

"I told my boss I had a family emergency and I didn't want him to see me waiting"

　

"Do you not have a car?"

　

"No, my driver's permit was yanked for too many DUI's which by the way do you happen to have any good alcohol at home? Oh fuck it I'll take even the crappy shit"

　

"Sorry I don't drink anymore but I can stop and get you something if you'd like" he said tossing the keys her way she caught them just before they went to the ground. Lily climbed into the truck from the driver's side and laid down in the seat as not to be seen. James put the cart back and climbed in she laid her head on the upper part of his leg.

　

"You are so cool James" Lily laughed giving him a thumbs up from her down position. He just smirked and started the truck he never once thought of himself as cool and if Lily had known his entire history she may not have thought so either.

　

While James did some repair work Lily wandered around the land snapping pictures with her phone's camera "Enjoying yourself are you?" James called getting down from the ladder after fixing up the gutters. She strolled around in circles "The air is so fresh out here and clean. And it's quiet so fucking quiet!"

　

"Where exactly do you live?"

　

"A few miles away from the store but I have eight brothers and sisters so it's never quiet at my house and our house is a bit smaller than yours"

　

"How old are you?" he felt stupid that he didn't ask this long before that moment but it was better safe than risk it.

　

"I'm eighteen but I can't afford to live on my own but my mum can't afford me moving out. She needs all the help she can get" Lily said snapping a picture of James.

　

"Please delete that" he was serious but Lily just smiled putting her phone away in her pocket "Maybe later so what's for dinner I'm starved"

　

"I'm making beans and toast" he answered coming up the front steps she grimaced "Maybe I'll skip dinner and go straight for dessert. You can be my cinnamon coffee cake" she pushed him against the front door. The heat of her palms on his arms made him react aggressively to her by jerking up and pressing his lips against hers.

　

When they broke apart Lily was breathless with a smile "Wow, fiery! I think we're going to get along just fine James Flint"

　

The door opened and they poured into it with hands roaming one another's bodies. James peeled his shirt off revealing his muscular chest with all it's freckles. Lily smoothed her fingers all over them "I fucking love gingers. I just want to kiss you all over" her words made James stop altogether "What? What's wrong? Was it something I said?" Lily tried to reach for his hand but he sauntered into the living room and sat in front of the fire.

　

Lily now confused tiptoed in behind him and placed her hand on his shoulder gently "I'm sorry if I upset you with how forward I was being" he smiled softly and put his hand over hers "It's not you I promise. I just have had a difficult time with relationships and lovers"

　

"Same. My ex-boyfriend ran off with my best friend and she was my only friend. But if you feel like we're moving too fast we can slow down" she said coming round to his face she moved his arms aside and took a seat on his lap.

　

He moved her hair aside from her neck kissing and nipping at her skin "Ohh James. Take me and have your way with me" she whispered as he cupped her face with his palm while keeping his lips focused. He dragged his thumb down her bottom lip as she sighed her fingers tangled up in his hair holding it tightly in her grasp.

　

They ended up in front of the fire, James laid a heavy quilt down and some pillows. He had Lily up on all fours facing the roaring flames as he fucked her from behind. He'd watch as her head would knock back and her pussy would throb all around his cock, his eyes examined every square inch of her then settling on her taut ass. It beckoned him as her pussy had gotten too wet and he was slipping out but her ass was nice and tight. Lily felt James slip out she reached between her legs trying to grab his cock to force it back inside when she felt and heard him spit in his hand. Quickly she had to put her hand back to the blanket as he spread her cheeks he spit again right on her tight hole "James? What are you doing?"

　

He prodded the hole with his thumb making it contract slightly Lily kept her eyes on the bricks of the fireplace as she knew what was coming next. She had to force her screams and cries deep down into herself as James made use of her bottom for his own pleasure. Lily felt his fingers weave into her blonde locks and grip them then yanked "Thomas!" he cried out as he shot his cum into her.

　

Lily fell forward face first into the pillow and began sobbing James staggered back onto his knees panting. He got up from the floor then headed into the bathroom while Lily laid there processing what had just been done to her. When James returned from his shower Lily was putting on her clothes glaring at him "What the **fuck** was that? Are you gay?"

　

"I'm sorry Lily but it's a complicated story, I need you to understand I never meant to scare you or hurt you. I lost control" he tried to touch her to calm her but she slapped his hands away.

　

"Don't you fucking touch me! Yeah I'd say you lost control the moment you didn't ask my permission to fuck my ass! I don't know who this Thomas guy is but if I were him I'd be very afraid of you and keep my asshole away from you! I'm going to call my big brother and lucky for you I won't mention what you did to me!" she slapped him across the face as she went to power her phone on but was dead "Great! You're taking me home then I don't care if it's snowing I'm not staying here with you!"

　

"Look it was just the one time! I won't do it again and besides I'm bi-sexual if you must know. Thomas was my boyfriend but he's in a coma in London"

　

Lily began to calm "Well, why the fuck are you here then? Shouldn't you be with him?"

　

"Yes, I would love to be there with him but I can't. I was driven out of London with blackmail from his very uppity rich father who wants to have him rehabilitated into being a straight man"

　

"That's stupid what is he a religious nut?" she kept her arms crossed protectively as she and James sorted out the whole mess.

　

By the end of the story Lily wasn't so tightly wound she felt horrible for James "I'm sorry James. I believe that if you love someone and they love you too then you should be together no matter what anyone says. You could get that chick Miranda to give him messages when he's better then maybe he can come find you. Fuck, I was going to say you could use my phone but it's dead. You should think about it"

　

"Yeah, I should. Come on I'll take you home now" James rose from the sofa, Lily stood up and wrapped her arms around him "If it's okay I'll stay with you, you don't need to be alone. I think you've suffered that long enough."

 


	24. Chapter 24

James came into his house to see Lily on her laptop "Well, I'm afraid I have some bad news about your Thomas Hamilton" she said as he shut the fridge after grabbing out a bottle of water.

　

A lump settled into his throat and his heart thumped painfully "Please don't tell me he's dead" he couldn't turn to face her.

　

"No but he's missing. This online blog is saying that Thomas disappeared from the hospital a few weeks ago. His father is offering one huge fucking reward for any information that will lead to him being found. I'm sorry James" Lily said looking at the picture of Thomas from the article.

　

"How the fuck could he be missing? He was in a coma for Christ's sake. I think this is father's doing he's done something with Thomas and he's doing this bullshit song and dance that he's missing. I have to talk to Miranda to find out what she knows if she knows anything at all"

　

Lily slid her phone across the table to him "Give her a call it could be your only chance to find your Thomas" she smiled softly to encourage him.

　

He slid it back "I'm not ready to talk but can you call her? Here's her number. Just tell her you know me but use the last name McGraw otherwise she won't have the foggiest who the fuck you're referring to" James scribbled down Miranda's number and pushed it in front of Lily.

　

"I know right now you're in this brooding phase and all, trust me it's sexy and all but how do you think it will look to her that a strange woman calls rather than the man she's calling for?"

　

James sighed, "I'm just not ready dammit. Please do this for me I mean I know I owe you but..."

　

"James, you don't owe me okay? You apologized for what you did and you helped my mom out so we're way more than even. Yes, I will call her for you" she reached across the table and took his wrist into her palm and locked her fingers around giving it a gentle shake.

　

"Thank you Lily" he finished his water then headed back outside.

　

Lily dialed Miranda's number then hit the send key but it went straight to voicemail "Hello, Miranda? This is Lily Thompkins and I'm calling for James Flint...I mean McGraw and um we just read terrible news that he's missing and James wanted me to call you to see if you knew anything so if you could return my call that would be very appreciated" she watched James out the window of the kitchen he sat on the back of the truck breaking down into sobs Lily left her number then hung up.

　

She ran outside and up to him "It went straight to voicemail but come on lets get you in the house and I'll make you a hot toddy"

　

"No, I can't drink this away Lily. I cannot break free from cocaine only to crawl into a bottle of liquor. I just I want to fade away...I feel like parts of me are crumbling and being carried away with the wind and soon there will be nothing left of me"

　

Lily wrapped her arms securely around him "No, I won't let that happen. You're going to find your Thomas and you'll see everything will work out as it should have all along."

**

　

Thomas and Miranda were hiding out in the tool shed on his Uncle Everett's property as police questioned he and his husband once more about Thomas's whereabouts. "I told you already I do not know what happened to my nephew but I would hope you will be turning up something soon. I haven't slept decently in weeks!" Thomas heard Everett yelling he smirked, his uncle was a great actor all his years spent in a theatre college helped.

　

"What are we going to do? They keep coming out here they know something Thomas. Your father has declared you mentally incompetent they'll haul you away if they catch you now" Miranda whispered as Thomas watched the police detectives get in their car and leave.

　

Everett waited a few moments before he opened the shed "I'm terribly sorry for having you cramped up in here but they aren't giving up nephew. We have to get you out of here"

　

"No, not until I find James. I feel him you know? Even though we're apart I feel whatever he's feeling and right now it's like he's saddened. I cannot leave here until we have a lead"

　

Everett sighed escorting them back into the house "We've searched public records for McGraw in Hampshire but nothing and nothing was found in the surrounding areas. Are there any other countries James would have run off to?"

　

"He mentioned Costa Rica once but he loved the country side. He always wanted to move out there but I never have been to his grandparent's old home so I couldn't pick it out on a map. I'm sorry but I've done everything I can Thomas and I need to turn my phone on to check my messages..."

　

"Miranda no! My father has no doubt has found a way to eavesdrop on your calls. I cannot risk it I'm too close" Thomas spoke out of turn.

　

"You're close? Thomas we have nothing, absolutely nothing! Just your gut feelings but I can go away and check my messages I really must I'm expecting an important call from my agent. Have you not forgotten that I have a career? James made his decision and he left, he's probably using another name so that tells me he doesn't want to be found"

　

Thomas furrowed his brow "Or my father did something to him! Miranda, you can go back to London if you'd like I'll find him myself"

　

She shook her head "How? Are you going to Hampshire and ask everyone there about him?"

　

"You can stop being a downer about Miranda! I need to have faith right now!" Thomas shouted at her.

　

"Yes I understand! But you also need to be realistic! What if James lied to us? What if there was no house in Hampshire? What if he just left England altogether? Can you really say you knew James? I obviously did not, all this time together and I never knew he abused drugs..."

　

"He didn't abuse them Miranda he used them to cope with his nightmares and his anxiety! Don't speak like you understand him! I do know him and I know he didn't make it all up, I know he was artful and could put a spin on everything but James is my lover and we became one throughout this experience. Now you can either stay and help us or you can get back on that train and back to London" he gave her an ultimatum but was disappointed when she trotted off to pack her bag.

　

"I'm sorry Thomas but life has to go on for all of us. You did this the moment you decided not to go home to him instead you hid in your ivory tower, a bag pills and a bottle of booze. If you had just been open to begin with all this could have been avoided and he would still be with both of us. You speak as if you were the only one who lost him, I had a chance to go with him but I felt that it was unfair to you. I'm frustrated Thomas and I cannot take it any longer. You must understand and I hope you forgive me"

　

She waited but Thomas didn't speak he just stood stone faced she shook her head and left out. He needed her but he was too proud to say it and he knew she wanted him to give up and take to her but that was where she failed him by being too selfish. "You just cut out another ally Thomas you do not have many left. I understand I would go to the ends of the earth for my love but I wouldn't trample anyone in the process."

　

Thomas turned on him "No, you just allowed him to be kept hidden like a dirty secret and what for? Money. Do not preach to me we all have our flaws. For too long I allowed my father to run my life and be my very existence I'm fighting back Everett and if you two do not wish to be on his bad side then I shall leave for Hampshire. Broke if I have too!"

　

Everett slid his hands into his pockets uncomfortably "You know I will not allow you to do that, you are my family - my blood. I want you to be happy Thomas I always have but my reasons for how everything was handled is between I and my husband, not for you to judge. I support you all the way but I just don't want you to go out there all willy nilly and end up over stressing yourself. Just stay here for a little while longer something will turn up. I'm sure of it"

　

As Thomas began to cry Everett pulled him to him for an embrace "I just fucked everything up so much...I can't stand this being apart. He is the only one who knows me, the **real** me and he loves me. I have to find him."

 


	25. Chapter 25

Miranda sank into her seat on the train with tears in her eyes she didn't want to leave Thomas behind but she needed to free herself. Thomas acted as if he were the only one who loved James but Miranda had loved him first and loved him still. She felt betrayed by everything he hid from her, that he couldn't trust her enough to let her into him fully. It was devastating blow but she had learned early on in life in order to survive it means to make the best of any situation, adapt so you don't get flung off the sides. But Miranda had bent and bowed for James and Thomas as long as she possibly could and while she enjoyed being a lover to them both she wanted to find her own happiness.

　

Maybe it was her mother's fault for teaching her that a woman will do anything to make her man happy even if that means allowing another in his bed, she used to tell Miranda as a teenage girl "It's better for you not to ask questions or make demands of him otherwise you'll find yourself alone. The key to making a man truly happy is to allow him to be just that, a man. One day you'll understand."

　

Miranda didn't understand even though she went with whatever her boyfriends wanted she still didn't feel fulfilled. James was the only man that gave her the freedom and security she craved, he allowed her to be herself and handed her the reins to her own happiness. Her mother didn't get to see her taking back her life because she had committed suicide when Miranda was nineteen after twenty seven years of marriage to her father she just could not bear another one. And when her father had revealed that her mother suffered from depression and anxiety that was when the fear that she would end up the same began.

　

Having her nervous breakdown was actually the greatest thing that ever happened to Miranda, she finally shattered her mother's image of her and everything she told Miranda to be. She learned in therapy that she had a voice and it was worth listening to. And while she didn't mean to fall for James especially since she found him repulsive when they first met she was glad to have done so. Now she knew that understood her better than she understood herself but he needed to hide it for his own protection, he wasn't awful for that just human or as her mother said "Just a man."

　

As the train was nearing London she turned her phone back on as it was able to better pick up signal. There were several notifications but she saw the voicemail app had a small number one in a red bubble attached to it she pressed it to hear the message. Listening to the young woman's voice her eyes widened it was about James she had to listen to it again to get the phone number she jotted it down on a napkin then deleted the message. She immediately called this Lily "Hello?"

　

"Um this is Miranda Barlow, Lily?"

　

"I'm sorry the Miranda I called was Miranda Barlow the actress?? Holy shit James didn't tell me you were his ex-girlfriend or girlfriend I don't know your situation but yes I did. James is worried about this Thomas guy so please tell me that he's been found and he's alright"

　

"Yes, he is alright. He is on the run from his father who is trying to have him committed..." the train was coming to a stop and Miranda saw a line of police standing on the platform she had no doubts they were there for her "...Lily I don't have much time but I need you to take down this number and have James call it. The man on the other end of the line will be able to help him" she heard Lily scramble for pen and paper "Got it go ahead and give me the number."

　

Miranda's heart raced as she gave Lily the phone number to Everett's husband Manuel's cell phone knowing the police were boarding the train. "Who is the man?" Lily asked but Miranda didn't have time to answer her she just hung up the call then cleared the call history log. The two detectives that had been to Everett's several times cornered her in her car "Hello Miranda, are you going to give us any guff or are you going to come quietly and answer all our questions?" the tall brunette asked.

　

"I legally am not obligated to go anywhere with you, I know my rights but I have nothing to hide so I will cooperate and come with you."

　

"That's what we like to hear."

 


	26. Chapter 26

Miranda had been sitting the little room with the metal table, a lamp attached to one of the corners and three chairs including the one she was sitting in and only one way in and out with no windows for what felt like an eternity but it had only been three hours. She refused to tell them anything she led them in circles hoping that Lily had been able to give James the messages and he would soon be on his way to Thomas.

　

When the door opened again it wasn't either detective it was Alfred Hamilton himself "You must feel so powerful right now you have commandeered the entire police force to hunt your son down. I can't imagine what it's costing you" she smirked crossing her arms as he entered in and shut the door.

　

"Listen here whore I know you were with my son, I also know you took him to my brother's so why don't you just confess?"

　

"Well, that may be because I didn't. I haven't seen Thomas in months" she denied making Alfred's face turn bright red.

　

"Dammit woman! My son isn't a well man and never has been"

　

Miranda shook her head "Because he's a homosexual he's not 'well' am I understanding that right?"

　

Alfred slammed his fist down on the table "No! He is mentally ill just like his mother was"

　

"What are you talking about? Thomas told me she died of brain cancer" Miranda had to be careful not to get twisted into Alfred's stories and end up revealing too much.

　

"He was away at boarding school when she took her life. She suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder, when I first met her it wasn't apparent I just assumed she was a woman they're a moody sort. That's why I paid for the art lessons it was supposed to be therapeutic but all she ended up doing was fucking the teacher. And after Thomas was born she suffered sadness yes, she loved him but I was afraid to allow Renee to be too close to him. I never told him this but when he was an infant she tried to drown him in a bath..."

　

"You liar! I cannot believe the lengths you're willing to go just so you can manipulate and control Thomas! He is your son why do you hate him so much?"

　

"I'm telling you the damn truth! I keep such a close eye on him because I fear he has her illness and I fear he is going to hurt himself again. When things are going well Thomas is a happy go lucky sort but when things crash he spirals. He has always been paranoid that I am against him and I know I'm a stern man but I hoped it would have helped him"

　

"Helped him?" Miranda nearly choked then she started laughing "You didn't help him at all! You hurt him and he did this because of the words you said at your own birthday dinner. He told me everything in the hospital and that is the last time I saw him."

　

"You lie! It was regrettable what I said and horrific when the phone call came in that he had tried to take his own life by way of drugs and alcohol. Miranda if you do not tell me where he is this will happen again, that damn James McGraw is a bad element and he spells nothing but trouble for my son. Please let us get Thomas the help he needs before it's too late."

　

Miranda sat there tightly she was holding all the cards against Alfred, he wove such an emotional tale that it threw her sense of truth off. But then it hit her, something her therapist had told her "Everyone no matter if they are ill or healthy is allowed to make their own choices and should never be denied the right to happiness. Don't let anyone make you believe that just because you had a breakdown you don't deserve to make your own decisions for **your** happiness."

　

She smiled inside it was time to give Alfred the performance of a lifetime "I did take him to Essex but you're too late he has already rendezvoused with James we were able to get through to him and they're heading for Costa Rica. James's grandfather has old friends there he had spoken to them when you forced him to exile from London. I'm terribly sorry but hopefully with your resources you can find him. Now if you'll excuse me I have a life to live Alfred" she slid the chair out and walked out the door.

　

In the elevator she sighed relief with a triumphant smile it was the last act of love she could do for the two of them.

**

　

"JAMES?!?" Lily jumped out of her brother's SUV and up to his front door she banged as if her life depended on it "JAMES ANSWER THE DOOR!" she jiggled the knob but it was locked. She heard a crash coming from the kitchen "What the fuck?" she swore jumping off the porch and running around back to the kitchen exit. She entered into the house the floor was littered with empty beer cans "No! Tell me you didn't" she then saw him on the floor in a drunken stupor.

　

"James what the fuck is all this?" she crouched beside him "Did I ever tell you look like him?" his words slurred and wobbled as he reached his hand up and moved the hair from her face but she jerked away and put his arm down "You are a fucking turd! Miranda called me back and I have a phone number where Thomas can be reached and now I come here and see that you're so damn blasted. You just stay here I'll tell Patrick to go home I'm staying with you" James just laid on the floor smiling as he drifted away from consciousness.

　

When he came around again he heard Lily on her phone "Thank you so much he'll be ready and waiting with bells on" she hung up. His head throbbed in pain she saw that he was awake "GOOD MORNING!" she shouted he cringed "No more of that please" he pleaded in a whisper.

　

"Oh I'm sorry was I TOO LOUD?" she started off softly then shouted he clutched his stomach as it burned in pain. "Okay I get it you're upset with me but I just...I couldn't take it anymore"

　

Lily put her hands on her hips and stared at him sternly "Okay I can understand but you need to get your shit together because you have a meeting to go to"

　

"Meeting? What meeting?" he tried to roll over to go back to sleep but she came over and tugged him until he fell off the sofa. "No! You're not going to pass back out on me. The number Miranda gave to me which by the way you didn't tell me it was the actress Miranda Barlow but anyways it was to a man named Manuel who is married to Thomas uncle Everett Hamilton. You need to get up off that floor and get cleaned up because this is it. You're going to him tonight" she clasped her hands together happily.

　

His eyes widened "Are you serious? Don't fuck with me"

　

"I am dead ass serious. Get up!"

　

With as much strength as he could muster in his current condition he got up but fell against the couch "Give me a minute the room is spinning" Lily sighed shaking her head.

　

After his shower he came into the living room to see Lily zipping up his only suitcase "You luckily didn't have much of an outfit selection and I can pack up your bathroom stuff now that you're out. Your train ticket has already been purchased we just have to claim it. I can't believe I'm actually this excited for you"

　

"Okay slow down where I am going?" What did he say?"

　

"He didn't say much just that you need to be on the train by seven tonight and in the very last car maybe Manuel is going to be there or maybe a person to give you information like some Bond type shit! Either way if you don't go then you won't know and you'll never see Thomas again."

　

"It could be a setup Thomas's father could've gotten to Manuel and Everett. Lily that man threatened to have me thrown in prison..."

　

"Look all I know is you only get one true love and when you get that chance you need to take it. I don't think it's a setup, it's destiny."

　

 


	27. Chapter 27

With his bag and ticket in hand James boarded the train and began his march to the last car. His stomach was tied up in knots wondering who would be waiting in the very last car. Passing by all the other passengers seeing them with their loved ones made James ache so deeply for Thomas but Lily told him to keep reminding himself he was always one step closer. And what if there was no one waiting? Would he have to ride the train to it's destination to get further instructions? All the variables were driving him insane.

　

His worrisome thoughts made getting through the train seem like an eternity but when he finally made it to the door to the final cart he peered inside. There was someone waiting but their back was turned to James all he could see was a black long sleeve shirt and the hand was behind a newspaper "Here goes nothing" he clicked the door open and stepped in. He waited silently hoping the person heard him the paper folded and a head peeked around the high back seat.

　

James immediately smiled and felt all his worry melt away, it was Thomas. Thomas stood up and James dropped his bag and threw his arms around him Thomas accepted him and wrapped his arms back around his love "I'm so sorry for being the reason you were driven away"

　

"Water under the bridge" James didn't want to keep thinking of what had happened. He was here, Thomas was here and that was all that mattered to him. "Where are we going?" James asked pressing his head against Thomas's chest to hear his heart beating.

　

"Anywhere we wish the future is ours my love."

 


End file.
